Respect
Let's learn respect before we learn love. If we understand how disrespect happens, if we avoid disrespect, maybe respect and love naturally follow.
"Our job is not to seek love but to try and find all the barriers which we have built against it " - Rumi.
1. Feeling of inadequacy that emerges from us makes us disrespect another person. Ego always likes to feel adequate. Aggressive ego goes ahead and verbally criticizes or does things to put the other person down to boost oneself. Defensive ego tries to avoid the person or situation to prevent feelings of inadequacy.
Ego makes us feel inadequate, but humility helps us be inspired by those better than us.
2. Prejudice: Differences need not be external differences like religion, language, nationality, or culture. Differences could be differences in behavior, values, and principles that contradict with our values, principles, and lifestyle. Ego does not like it. Ego likes to believe that its way is the right way. That is why it's easy to get along with people similar to us and challenging to get along with people different from us.
Aggressive ego goes ahead and keeps telling aloud that my way is the right way, and your way is wrong. Defensive ego keeps the thought within, but thoughts manifest into actions, and our vibrations speak for themselves. A defensive ego does the damage a little slower than an aggressive ego.
Instead of ego, when there is humility, we accept differences, appreciate differences, and then go ahead and embrace differences.
3. Being disrespected: When someone disrespects us due to their prejudice or their feeling of inadequacy.
Ego gives tit for tat offensively or defensively. It is like someone initiates building of a wall and we support them by giving bricks.
What does humility do?
At the first stage humility does not react to disrespect with disrespect. Humility will try to understand why the other person did not treat us right.
Second stage humility forgives the wrong doings of others.
At the next level Humility will be compassionate towards the one who is already suffering from inadequacy and prejudice and goes ahead for praying for them to get relieved from those qualities.
4. Disappointment due to unmet expectations: When a human does not get what they expect they feel offended easily.
Ego immediately builds walls. Humility understands that it's ok when expectations are not met and corrects one's own expectations.
5. Accomplishments: It's nice to have a goal, work towards it and feel accomplished but ego thinks that its great and already there whereas humility thinks that there is always more to learn, know, do or become.
6. Subtle ego in excessive positivity: At times ego acts in subtle ways thinking or projecting to the world that life is a fairy tale, everything has fallen into place. Some people's ego never allows them to share the bad side of their life but only keep sharing the good things to the world. Positivity and appreciating what we have is a good trait, but the silent ego should not make us unrealistic.
Let's think about how humble we are and how to move towards more humility. It seems the only way to break all the walls. Heart to heart connection already exists between us and all of God's creations. Our task is only to remove the self-built walls by adopting to a humble attitude.
