Taming the ego - 2

Identity :

We knowingly or mostly unknowingly associate our identity with something, and we find someone else helping us to feed and strengthen that identity we like. When someone breaks or hurts the identity with which we associate ourselves, we don't like them. All the things with which we associate our identity are, in fact, like ripples from the source. This is all a play of ego.When we learn that our thoughts and interests are not us but ours, we are. moving one step ahead in taming our ego.

Reflections 2023

 The situations and experiences I went through this year paved the way for attitude shifts or understanding of certain things.

1. Protect your emotional energy. Don't let yourself get drained by useless things. Choose your battles wisely. Some things are just not worth it. Take ownership of all your emotions.  No one can make you feel this and that. It's all your choice. "Take it light".The dualities of life will not affect us intensely when we practice the art of taking everything lightly. Practice the inner space.

2. Self-awareness: Ignorance is not bliss. Be perfectly aware of what you can and cannot do, and change yourself wherever required. Understanding and ego are always inversely proportional. Understanding always begins with the self. 

3. Atomic habits matter. Whether small habits bring about positive changes, giving up on them will surely bring negative results. This applies to all areas of life.

4. Self-care: Be there for yourself. Stop expecting external validation. Go ahead and take care of yourself. Accept, motivate, and love yourself. Don't expect things from the outside. Just pick yourself up and keep going. Self-care is self-responsibility. 

5. The amalgamation of humility and willpower: The life journey is not always smooth.  At different stages and for various reasons, every journey has its ups and downs. The closed doors, the blocked roads, U-turns, the detours, the thorns, and stones or a big giant wall coming along our way or a pit which is out of sight.Nonresistance is the first step in handling the barriers. Acceptance is the second step.  The will to move beyond the hurdle is the third step. Every hurdle should make us more humble and strong-willed. Willpower ( Sankalpa Shakthi) is the most powerful thing. Will power develop on repeated application.  Increased willpower and humility are the signs of spiritual progress.

Very grateful to each and every one who has walked through this year with me for all their support,  guidance, and love. Taking lessons from 2023, let's look forward to a beautiful year ahead with a heart full of gratitude for all that is and affirming to start from where we are with what we ave to become a better version of ourselves. 

Never give up on yourself

Knowingly or unknowingly, we keep looking for external validation. Others to give us a chance, others to include us,  others to initiate something which we need, others to motivate us, others to understand us, others to love, support, and care for us.

Are we doing all this for ourselves?

Know your self-worth. Stay self-motivated. Take other people's opinions lightly. Even if the choices someone makes are not to your liking, don't let that define your self-worth. 

What is inward tuning that mediation practice teaches us? To look within for inspiration, motivation, answers, approval,acceptance love ,and respect.

There is a difference between self-care and selfishness.  Care for your own feelings and needs.Be your own best friend and try to help yourself in all aspects of life. Selfishness is caring only for oneself at the expense of others. But self care is caring for oneself and also treating others the same way.

Don't settle for less. Rejections, hurdles,delays, pitfalls, U-turn and detours are all part and parcel of life's journey and not the end of the journey.Don't be disappointed. Believe in yourself. Never give up.Stand up for yourself. Its ok to cry, its ok to fall down. But dont complain about the situation. Just go ahead and pick yourself up.Keep going and keep growing.Never give up on yourself. If you don't do it for yourself no one else is going to do it for you.

Reflections

Assumptions and possibilities :

From this moment to another unknown moment, there are infinite possibilities.

How much should we assume the unknown and proceed in a particular direction? Of course, it's better than not walking anywhere at all.

Flexibility and structured approach :

Flexibility shows expanded consciousness. A structured and organized approach to life is discipline.  This may seem contradictory, but it's not. We need to follow a structured approach to life while still being flexible to handle unexpected hurdles, blockers, detours, restarts, and tests that come along the way.

Live the moment with a fresh attitude :

Half the problem is solved when we don't project past fears into the future. At the same time, we should take lessons from past experiences also, but those lessons alone should not become a stereotype pattern for the future. We should have some allowance for different outcomes for the same event because underlying conditions could be other.

The ultimate trinity :

The amalgamation of condition, consciousness, and willpower is mastery. It shows our state of being, understanding, and doing. It is the expansion of our heart, mind, and application of will.

Comfort or content:

Are we content with a situation, or does a familiar situation make us comfortable as we get used to it?

Now is all that exists

Start from where you are with what you have

Count your blessings and keep going. 

Moving beyond hurdles

 It's always easy to move on in the smooth path, but that's not always the case in the journey of life. At times, a lot of things happen in life that drain energy, demotivate us, cut off our enthusiasm, or make us question our beliefs.

"Acceptance," as always, is the magical solution, but we often forget to apply a suitable ointment to the wound.

When the mistake is ours, it's much easier to accept the result, affirm to correct ourselves, and move on, but the tests are sometimes more intense. We may sincerely do our best, but our efforts may not be acknowledged.  We may even be kicked off or ignored despite giving our best. 

We put in so much sincere hard work at an organization, which may never be rewarded.

We gave so much of ourselves to someone who never understood our love.

We want to serve and contribute to something in society but never get an opportunity to do that.

In all these above scenarios, our intentions are right and pure, but still, we face hurdles. The intensity of the effect it produces on us depends on how much we give of ourselves. We just need to develop the correct understanding first of all so that we do not feel hurt or bitter. Thinking why it happened to me or it should not have happened is of no use.

When our enthusiasm is cut off knowingly or unknowingly, it's very easy to get demotivated. We can pause and take some time to recover, but taking excessive time or just remaining in demotivation will only make things worse.

Even for some simple things like weight loss, when I take small steps, losing 2 or 3 kgs is generally very long. Then suddenly there could be some hurdle in the form of health issue or medication which comes my way and break the tiny habits. But when I give up on the tiny habits, within no time, the weight goes up. This is just a small example that is easy to understand; the same applies to everything. At times, we don't get what we want so easily or quickly, or we face so many hurdles in just doing what we are doing.

 Every time we give up, things never get better, but only bitter. We need to put in continuous efforts even to sustain what we have. When there is no acceleration, the vehicle stops at a point. Gratitude and ability to count the blessings is the key to joyful life. We should Keep going irrespective of whatever comes our way. Self-motivation and strong will power are the key to keep going irrespective of all the hurdles which comes our way. Always begin from where you are, with what you have.

Moving beyond experiences

 The unconditional 

In our evolutionary journey, our understanding goes through multiple stages.

Ignorance: The first stage we go through is ignorance. We have opinions, both good and bad, just out of ignorance. Prejudice is the highest form of ignorance. It can be from what we hear, read, or listen, or mindlessly without any reason.

Observation: In the second stage, we observe things from a distance and form good and bad opinions without solid experience. It is very possible that with experience, our awareness grows and may erase both the admiration and irritation. 

Experience: Sometimes, people come to conclusions with minimal experience without understanding the whole. Emotions could be stronger than understanding; we act from emotional memory instead of cognitive memory. We should know the difference between what is said and done, what is said but not done, and what is done but not said.

Beyond experiences: While it's quite a journey from ignorance to observation to emotional memory based on experiences to cognitive memory based on experiences, still, it's not the end. We can't experience everything in a limited time. We need to move past our experiences also. This is the transition from conditional experiences into spontaneous, dynamic living in the present moment without being conditioned by past thoughts, beliefs, or experiences,  with unconditional love, total trust, and utmost surrender to God and all of God's creations.

Why do we need to move beyond experiences?

At times, we may have repeated negative experiences; these memories create a strong impression and guide our behaviors without our knowledge. When hard work does not lead to success, it could lead to a lethargic attitude; when our love is not correctly received and reciprocated, it could lead to trust issues, unexpected rejections, and hurts could lead to hesitation in seeking help. When the absence of something gives a bitter experience, the mind could be excessively attached to possessing it and associate our self-worth with that. 

While learning from experiences is good at ,times when there are extremely rigid patterns in our behavior, we need to re-align ourselves and use the sense of discrimination. When we cannot be flexible and spontaneous and be excessively driven by the past we are mere machines and do not use the sense of discrimination that makes us human.

How to move beyond the conditioning and act spontaneously instead of rigid pattern : Meditation is the only way.

This spontaneous does not mean fickle or unstable, its a stable state of mind which is free from rigid conditioning.

"The best gift we can give to the universe is our transformed selves" - Daaji

Deviations from inward connection

What are the subtle signs we are not connected within or centered within.

1. Boredom. It leads to restlessness.  A restless mind seeks fulfillment outside. There is no end to seeking satisfaction outside. A fulfilled desire entraps the mind increasingly, and unfulfilled desires lead to further restlessness. A settled mind is content, calm, and peaceful. A mind that is absorbed within never feels bored.

2. Irritation: When we are centered within, we ignore unnecessary things that happen outside us, around us. When we are not entirely inward-tuned, we start getting affected by something that does not fit our opinions or values; instead of ignoring it, we get irritated. A centered mind is empathetic.

3. Anger: When we are not centered within,  we get affected by our triggers for anger, which are triggered from the outside. When centered within, we correct our attitude and free ourselves irrespective of someone else's actions. While irritation is still on the surface, anger is heavier. 

4. Worry: When unexpected things happen, a centered mind focuses on the solutions, but a mind that is not centered within magnifies the problems and keeps worrying.

5. Fear: A mind centered within is deeply rooted in faith. Fear is the tendency of the lower mind. Fear is a great illusion and leads us nowhere. A centered mind dwells in courage and trust.

6. Ego: Superiority complex, pride, arrogance,judgement and ego are undoubtedly the heaviest tendencies; they act as complete blockers in our journey. Humility is the most essential quality which leads us toward purity. Purity is simplicity and simplicity is God.

 "Purity weaves destiny, and impurities destroy it" -Daaji

Why do deviations of tendencies happen?

1. It happens when we are not regular in our spiritual practice. 

2. It happens because we are still in the process of self-refinement and self-mastery. Only with interest, continuous introspection, and conscious effort, purity of consciousness, and stability of emotions can be achieved. We should keep correcting our tendencies at the starting stage when it's easier to change. When things become deep rooted in us, it takes a lot of effort to change and correct ourselves. This means meditation and introspection should be a daily routine for someone who is serious about the spiritual journey.

Emotional ownership

Turn offs are nothing but our own weekness inability  to spontaneously handle something or someone. Some people don't turn us off because they have the character which does not interfere with our weekness. They make situations easy for us. While some others make situations difficult for us, but difficult never means impossible.  We need to put some effort to handle them.Instead of blaming the people who turn us off, we should focus on how to handle them.The shift should be from "who" to "what". Shift from emotional memory to cognitive memory. 

The immatured and selfish invade our  boundaries and drain  our energy.How to handle them ? By learning to set boundaries. By learning to express if we are forced to do what we dislike. Many people may not know what we dislike so we need to express ourselves.

The superiority complex people, jealous people and complaining people crush us with their negative words.How to handle them? By setting a filtre and not absorbing everything. Validate and take un only what is required.

Insensitive people hurt us. How to handle them ? Love and trust is a positive emotion.  But don't have a emotional dependency on people. Each of us are totally complete by ourselves and should not have excessive emotional dependency on people though it's important to give and receive trust and love.

When we work on ourselves we can handle our anger/irritation without blaming it on others.

When something goes wrong after giving our 100 percent can break us or make us angry especially when  the decision making authority is in someone else's hand. We should learn resilence and keep moving.Understand that anger only spoils our peace and makes things worse.

Emotional memory

Among the many people we meet, why do we remember or value some people much more than others?

It's a blessing to have these categories of people: -

The gentle lovers

People who love without demanding love, giving you the required space, and not thrusting their insecurity or excessive demands are gentle lovers. These types of people are rare and makes us feel perfect just the way we are.

Gentle people are rare; loving people are also rare. The combination of the two is very precious. We are lucky if we have such people at any point of time in our life.

The encouragers 

People who don't have an inferiority complex or superiority complex are the genuine well-wishers; they are the ones who will encourage and motivate you. the other category will try to criticize and will be fault-finding and demotivating just out of their superiority complex or inadequate feelings. 

The encouragers uplift us. They make a positive impact on us. It's a blessing to have them in our life.

The helping hands 

All human beings are interdependent; the people who reach out to us, offering help and support, will forever remain on our gratitude list.

The admirers

It's good to be appreciated. But never be carried away by those who admire or respect you without solid experience about you. The appreciation from those who have spent a reasonable amount of time with us is a good sign. Otherwise, it's just a positive opinion from surface observation or interaction. 

Be careful with the following categories of people: -

The energy drainers

The jealous people, selfish people, people who constantly complain, people with a superiority complex.  These four categories of people constantly drain us. It is better to limit spending time with such people. We need to have a mental filter not to allow their negativity to affect us.

The insensitive people 

These people may be good individuals but not sensitive to the affection and care you show them; it's better to keep a safe emotional distance from them. They make you feel bad for being good; they can never receive and reciprocate the affection we show to them.

The boundary invaders

Some boundary invaders who are selfish and aggressive can be identified easily.

Some people lovingly invade our boundaries because of their immaturity, lack of understanding, or forcefully drag us into things in which we are not interested. They gradually thrust their demands on us knowingly or unknowingly, interfering with our freedom of choice and space. The well-wishers who push us into something for our good are different from those who drag us into something for their joy.

Moving beyond the emotional memory:

The above categories also help us to understand how we behave with others. Treat others the way we would like to be treated. 

People are only instruments to make us understand how to be and how not to be. Our focus should not be on the individual, but instead we should focus on the qualities; we should imbibe the good qualities and avoid the bad qualities.

To be gentle and loving, an encourager, and a helping hand shows a certain degree of evolution. But how unconditionally one can be that way irrespective of what comes from outside shows mastery.

Benefits of meditation and challenges of meditation aspirant

 Benefits of mediation:

1. Worldly desires goes down as the focus shifts inwards. This brings in contentment with what is. 

2. Restless tendency of the mind settles, and calmness prevails.

3. Anger subsides, forgiveness, empathy and compassion grow. Jealousy and competition subside appreciation and gratitude grow.

4. Worry and fear subsides, trust and courage grow.

5. Confusions subsides, and clarity grows.

6. Ego refines paving way to right understanding, collaboration and cooperation for the right things. 

All this keeps happening only if we continue to practice mediation on a regular basis and most importantly with the right attitude. We can easily get out of track if we are not able to practice regularly or other situations can cause deviations in our path.

Many a times we can stumble, deviate or even feel lost. In all those moments guru helps us directly or indirectly to keep going.

What are the common challenges for a meditation aspirant?

1. Since meditation is an inward tuning activity where we enjoy our own company, we may not always find like-minded people to share our joys with.

2. When many needs naturally shed off from us, we may be looked at as a bit indifferent for not doing what many people do. It is not necessary to get into things which we have outgrown. But we need courage to move on in our way.

3. Moderation and integration of both the worlds (the spiritual and the material) is very important.

While contentment, calmness, compassion, courage is liberating. It's very important to moderately apply those qualities in our day-to-day life. Excess of anything can be dangerous. 

What meditation does not directly provide:

Meditation does not directly lead us to worldly success, power, position, health, wealth, love, respect or admiration.  It can lead us to a calm state of mind and it's up to us to utilize the calm mind to pursue our goals.

Friends Forever

 Which friend is forever?

When you have the company of good people, it's a nice thing.

Some people genuinely respect, love, and care for us.

Some people help and support us. 

Some people truly understand and trust us.

Associating with some people uplifts us.

Few people provide everything: respect, love, support, and understanding. 

However wonderful a friendship is,  we have different paths and may not journey together for long.

Is keeping in touch possible in the real sense? Not just the knowledge someone gets through social media updates. But someone who was part of our everyday life, how much is it possible to share our joys and sorrows, ideas and changes when we no longer meet, especially for years together? 

Even if we value someone within us, will they still feel the same connection with us? When we all keep evolving into different versions of ourselves, will two individuals who were once best friends still have the same compatibility if they meet again?

I sincerely value those few people who have attempted to be there in my life, even a small attempt to stay in touch. 

As we all go through so many things in life, at times, space or getting out of touch was not our choice. Maybe it just happened. We never paid attention to the gap when it started building, and then one fine day, we realized that we had grown miles apart.

It's not just essential to make good friends. Mutual, genuine efforts are required to keep it going. We may not always be able to find the same good people everytime and everywhere. 

Reflections on Marriage

Few Reflections on our wedding anniversary. It is said that "Marriages are made in heaven."

But is not heaven our creation?

The basics :

1. Acceptance - This is the foundation of a marriage.  It's the ability to accept the other person as they are and not have dramatic expectations. Peace begins in acceptance. 

2. Gratitude - It's the ability to count our blessings, appreciate the other person's goodness, and not keep complaining or fault-finding. Joy begins in Gratitude.

3. Now is all that exists. Living in the Now requires courage. Trust the Now. Freedom begins here and now as we learn to move on from the heaviness or burden of the past. Don't hold on to what was expected but not said or what was said but not expected.  What was done or what was not done.

4. Space: Individual growth begins in space. Never be excessively dependent on the other person. Invest time and energy in strengthening other relationships also. Have your hobbies, circle of good friends, and healthy connections with other family members. Emotionally mature people grow in space. Never be a parasite and drain the other person's energy.

The classic: 

5. Integrate: Mutual, exponential growth begins from here. " Adapt, not fully adopt." Do not fully force your ideas or thoughts on the other person. Also, do not completely adopt the other person's ideas.  Integrate the best qualities, practices, beliefs, experiences, capabilities, and principles of the individual and create something all the more beautiful. Unity is strength.

All these require a certain degree of mental maturity, understanding,  refinement of ego, selflessness, and, yes, most importantly positive outlook towards life and love.

Everything is easily said than done. No two individuals are always going to walk the journey at the same speed or the same intensity.  So it takes tremendous wisdom to keep changing the roles per the situation.  At times one leads; at times, one follows; at times, one carries like a mother; at times, one is carried like a child; at times, one protects like a father; at times, one is protected like a child; at times, one corrects like a teacher, at times one is corrected like a student, the two walk side by side like friends, the two merge like lovers, at times the two walks different routes and then integrate the enriched experiences.  

It takes will to transform from awareness to action. But a journey of thousand miles begins with a single step. 'Will' is always backed by desire/goal/interest.

All this is possible only when both individuals have the common goals of peace, joy, harmony, and evolution. 

Like every other journey ,marriageis not always easy. In difficult times apply the principles of the three P's. Patience perseverance , and prayer. Be patient to give things time to unfold. Persevere to keep putting in the best efforts from your side. Pray to create a new reality. Pray to evolve together. Always remember,  ' In surrender,  divine help.'

Everything requires effort. But love makes it look like effortless effort.

Reflections August

In the magic of moderation between all the dualities, who determines how much? It's the individual.  What appears normal to one appears as extreme to another. 

Follow the heart and listen to the voice within. Moderation is not universal; it comes from the individual heart. One rule does not suit all; it does not even suit the same person all the time. Wisdom is to listen to the guidance of the heart and take the right decisions. 

Freedom is the ability to follow the heart spontaneously.

*************************************************************************************

It takes a great degree of patience and maturity to let people understand from their own experience. Let things unfold in their natural way.

*************************************************************************************

Equality exists only when the mind has crossed dualities. Unity begins from here. Unconditional love starts from this point. Inclusiveness starts from here.

*************************************************************************************

Relationships: Two people can break each other.

Two people can let each other be as they are.

Two people can make each other.

Two people can adjust with each other forcefully.

Two people can complete each other joyfully.

Acceptance, gratitude, appreciation, and encouragement are the ways in which we can complete each other joyfully. 

*************************************************************************************

We should be careful what we see, read, and with whom we associate.   The videos or movies we see, the content we read, and the people we spend time with should leave us wiser and lighter, or at least as we are. Anything which makes our heart or mind feel heavy should be avoided immediately. 

*************************************************************************************

Moderation in liberating qualities: -

Contentment, calmness, compassion, courage all these should be moderate. This moderation comes only when the fifth 'C' clarity is rightly developed. We can use all the qualities for our improvement. 

Contentment is good, and desire is the root of all evil. It's excessive desire. Normal desire or goal motivates us and gives us direction. 

Calmness is wonderful.  Restlessness should be avoided, but certain degrees of restlessness are required to keep moving towards our goal.

Compassion is healing. Anger is deadly. But when anger is directed towards oneself for improvement removes the obstacles on the journey.

Courage is freedom. Fear is slavery. But certain degree of fear when rightly used should help us to prepare proactively and avoid getting into unnecessary things.

********************************************************************************

Getting attached without knowing the reason is ignorance. 

Admiring and appreciating with awareness is wisdom.

Imbibing the qualities which you admire is saintly. 

********************************************************************************

Towards Infinity

 On and on is the soul's journey; that is why it's called towards infinity.

At every stage, when we think the wait is over, the lesson is learned, but it repeats.  Things repeat for us to know and understand the lessons deeper and deeper. 

Understanding and living up to the five c's, the liberating qualities (Contentment, Calmness, Compassion, Courage, Clarity) keep changing in depth. 

We keep finding deeper meanings in the same old things we thought we learned already, maybe we have learned something, but still, along the journey, we start finding new meanings and understanding.

The journey towards infinity need not be in learning new terms and concepts along the way. It can be in learning the same things at greater depths.

" Love Him who loves all" - Babuji

" Love all whom He loves " - Chariji 

The journey begins with love for God and continues with love for all of His creations. 

Silence & Love

Beyond the feelings of the heart, such as peace, love, joy, and gratitude.

Beyond the process of knowing, understanding, awakening, and wisdom.

What lies is the state of being of Total silence; Plunge into it.

Silence is not something to be sought. Silence is what naturally is when we stop seeking anything  as well as stop resisting anything. Silence is nothing but the Holy Nothingness. 

As long as we like, admire, and are attracted to something, we will dislike and repel the opposite of it. When the mind rises above the dualities, it is silent. In such a state of moderation love flows effortlessly and without any hurdles. The first hurdle is caused by what we dislike. We close doors to the flow of love as long as we are trapped in the dualities.The doors of heart open when we raise above dualities.

The second hurdle is caused at a later stage .  Love flows towards the people who have the qualities we like but at one stage reciprocation comes to the mind and closes the door which was once open.

We cant be informed the same way we inform;

We cant be helped the same way we help;

We cant be included or invited just the way we do;

We can't be supported or cared for just the way we did for someone else.

Accepting other people's choices and continuing to choose love irrespective of what we receive is overcoming the barrier of reciprocation. 

The role of wisdom is to enable the flow of love and help us remove all the barriers to love.Wisdom by itself is incomplete if it does not teach us unconditional love. 

Peace,love,joy and gratitude are no longer feelings which come and go, we move to a permanent state of being where we silently unconsciously and unconditionally radiate love,peace, joy and gratitude. 

" Silence is the language of God, all else is poor translation " - Rumi.

"The end of religion is the beginning of spirituality,

The end of spirituality is the beginning of reality,

The end of reality is the beginning of Bliss,

When that too is gone, you have reached your destination " - Shri Ramchandra of Shajahanpur (Babuji)

Universal love and soul connection

 What makes us connect with fellow beings at the surface level?

Admiration, common interest, gratitude, and emotional availability at a given point in time are those which I could think about. If we understand love as an energy that flows through us and the barrier to initiation of love is prejudice, and the wall to the flow of love is ego, we should learn how to overcome the obstacle and keep the flow going. 

As long as love is at the individual level, at some point in time, the expectation of love in return and reciprocation is inevitable because we are dealing with limited energy in giving and receiving.  The eternal, perennial flow of love is only possible when we tune into divine love and let it flow through us without restrictions, awareness, or expectations.This is the practical way to connect with all souls and practice Universal love. 

What flows in,flows through. Always be receptive of divine grace. "When you wait for divine grace to flow in,empty yourself; often it's like a full bottle of wine poured on a mere cup" - Persian couplet.

Appreciate and encourage

One of the most essential qualities to develop as a human being is not to give unnecessary comments, suggestions, negative feedback, sarcastic remarks, or bring someone else down mentally or emotionally due to our prejudice, ego, competition, inadequacy, or Jealousy. This is a bare minimum thing that everyone needs to develop. Just let people be. Let everyone exercise the freedom to live life as per their awareness and interests. Why to judge, interfere, pinpoint or offer unnecessary advice?

As the next step, try to appreciate the goodness in people in whatever form it's manifested. Acknowledge and enjoy the good things in others and uplift their spirit mentally and emotionally.  When human beings start believing in themselves, they do more than what they can. Never let the small things go unnoticed.  Acknowledging, appreciating, and encouraging the 'what is' helps people to fly higher and higher. Choose to be an encourager in the world of criticism. 

Go an extra mile, try to find the hidden potential in others, and motivate them to bring it out. Identifying the potential in someone before the world sees it is the role of a leader.  Help others to unleash their potential. Give people an opportunity to shine. Be a reason for someone to shine. A true leader raises people to his level and even beyond.

Appreciate, encourage, and uplift each other.

Follow your heart

"Follow your heart" three simple words but it takes tremendous courage to follow the heart. 

"Be yourself", means living life the way it is naturally, spontaneously comes from within us. Flexibility is good. Adapting to situation is wisdom. But totally adopting instead of adapting is foolishness.  Always have the clarity about what are the habits or qualities which we need to hold on and what are the habits or qualities which we need to let go. 

How to decide? Anything which we do should make us feel lighter or at least leave us the way we are. Inspiration, motivation is all good if the change is for the positive, positive means it should make us feel lighter at both the heart and mind, else just don't go for it. 

Sometimes not following the crowd may make us feel alone, but its ok. Because we are perfectly complete the way we are. A handful of good relationships are more than enough. Don't be afraid to be yourself even if being yourself is going to be being alone. Strength lies within you; clarity comes from within you. Love is within you then what is important is to connect within.  When we connect within, half the problems are solved when we have the courage to remain connected within, the remaining half of the issues are solved. 

Be courageous and remain connected within.  The right people and things will be in your life. Those who love and respect you the way you are and for what you are. The things which you really deserve will automatically fall into place.

" Eliminate everything that does not help you evolve " - Rumi.

Eliminate does not mean cut off, it means mentally don’t give importance to things which are not required in your journey. It is each individual to decide what they want in their journey. The free will to make choice is always ours. When we have the freedom of choice, we have along with it the responsibility to handle what comes our way. At the same time respect the choices which your fellow beings make, in that way we can remain in harmony with each other irrespective of differences. 

Trip to Fategarh, Shajahanpur, Sathkol

Fatehgarh: The birth place of our Adi guru Lalaji. There was so much serenity and calmness as we entered the garden of Fatehgarh ashram. It showed how trees retain the divine essence longer than human beings.  It was so tranquil, and the calmness in the atmosphere could not be expressed in words. My major take was, " It is not enough to give your heart to the Master. You should also give your time". Probably this applies to all our relationships. We also visited Lalaji masters Maha Samadhi. The condition which prevailed there was so powerful pulling a seeker deeper and deeper within. 

Shajahanpur: The birthplace of Sahaj Marg system. The birth place of Babuji .It's been my dream place for many years. Having heard and read so much about Babuji and Shajahanpur, my heart always craved to visit this place. The ashram was beautiful. There was divine transmission right from the moment we entered the gates of the ashram. There were many monkeys and peacocks since there were many trees. Right from my childhood, I have fear of animals, even pet animals like dogs. Somehow, this fear did not allow me to dwell deep within.  I only realized that the only way to overcome fear is love.

Sathkol: Heartfulness Sathkol meditation center is situated in a eautiful natural environment, with a Himalayan view, away from the noise and busy city life.

The silence of the place, the calmness, and the serenity prevailing in the atmosphere automatically help our mind to tune within, unwind, and relax.

The word "Sathkol"  means "Opening to the truth."  The truth I witnessed here is

 " Simplicity." 

Simplicity is contentment. 

Simplicity leads to calmness. 

Simplicity is purity. Purity is the absence of prejudice or ego, and the lack of ego is love.

It takes courage to remain simple. 

Simplicity paves the way to clarity.

This shows that simplicity is liberating; simplicity is a liberating quality( contentment/ love) or leads to liberating quality( calmness/ clarity ), or is the outcome of liberating quality( courage).

" Be plain and simple to be identical with nature." Maxim of Sahaj Marg 

Visiting the place Sathkol could be once in a lifetime, but opening our minds to the truth and living the truth is what is important. Visiting retreat centers and ashram recharge us. What is more important is to stay connected with the inner self wherever we are.  

Reflections July

Effortless effort - doing things that come naturally, spontaneously from within us. This comes with love. When there is absence of love, we will start feeling conscious about our efforts. 

Shocks are something which are highly unexpected. Mind takes quiet sometime to handle shocks. Can we bring in acceptance, gratitude, living in the NOW, moderation,surrender even at this time. But that is the way to handle it. 

The degree of moderation we practice depends upon the degree of clarity we have and also the will power to act from the clarity.

Kindness is inclusiveness.

Silence the mind, cut off the thoughts and plunge into silence. 

Simplicity is truth.

Hold on to your values.  Have the courage to be yourself and let the right people stay in your life; even if it means you are going to be alone still have the courage to hold on to your values and consciousness. Feel safe to be yourself. 

What we are/have could be a blessing,  or a combination of awareness, interest and effort.

Self Acceptance is confidence.

True maturity is to empathize with the immatured and true affection is to be sincere irrespective of how loving the other person is. 

The role of wisdom is to enable us to remove the barriers for the flow of love. 

Moving towards the final version

 Moderation is the highest discipline.  Just like how the joy of love is love itself, the greatness of discipline is discipline itself not in the fruits of disciplined living.

Discipline is a broad spectrum encompassing a very wide range of dimensions like physical, mental, emotional, social, spiritual dimensions. 

Physical discipline :Moderation in all the senses. Moderation in both the craving and action.

Mental discipline  : Moderation in thoughts and actions. The abiltiy to live in the present moment. 

Financial discipline : The ability to use the full potential to create wealth but not let it consume you. The ability to lead a simple life. The ability to share what we have.

Emotional discipline : The ability to remain calm, compassionate and courageous  under all situations. 

Social discipline: The ability to give and receive( love, wisdom, support ) to people around. 

Spiritual discipline: Ability to stay committed to your spiritual practice and take the self responsibility for inner transformation. 

Time management is discipline. Healing is discipline, growing is discipline.  Self care is discipline,  caring for others is discipline. Letting go is discipline, holding on is discipline, moving on is discipline. 

Amalgamation of love and space is discipline.  

Integration of activity and passivity is discipline. 

Transition from awareness to action is discipline. 

Discrimination of when ,where, how ,how long and how much is discipline.  Moderation is the highest discipline. 

Liberation is freedom and discipline is the highest freedom.  

Spontaneously, effortlessly a loving heart and a disciplined lifestyle( practicing moderation in all the dimensions) seems to be the final version.  

It takes determination to walk the path which one has set for oneself. It takes  iron will to break all the barriers ,hurdles and pitfalls that come along the way and keep going  towards the final version. 

Reflections June

Boundary Setting and handling tough people / situations or conflicting needs: 

Compassion and Empathy are great qualities only when there is moderation between self-compassion, and compassion towards others, and also moderation between self-empathy and empathy towards others.

We can do one of the below while handling tough people/ situations / conflicting needs:

1. Empathize with the other person and practice kindness.

2. Adjust in scenarios if it's easy and comes naturally to you. 

3. Express your needs only when you feel safe to express it.

4. Some people and situations require to be avoided. Explaining certain things to certain people will complicate the situation further.

Understand which situation requires what response and act accordingly. 

***********************************************************************************

Understand yourself deeper: 

When you do not do something, understand if you are afraid to do it or if you are not interested / or don't have a necessity to do it.

When you do something, understand if you are really interested in doing it or if you are doing it out of fear of judgement or other external factors.

When you practice moderation, look if there is moderation in both the craving and the action/indulgence.

***********************************************************************************

Understanding emotions:

It's difficult to receive affection that comes with other qualities which turns us off.

It's difficult to continuously give affection only for some admirable qualities without receiving affection in return.

It is rare for affection and admirable qualities to be integrated. Only in these scenarios we can give and receive affection.

What is a turn off?

Other person's Immaturity - It can be handled when we learn to empathize.

Other person's Jealousy - It can be handled when we learn to share.

Other person's Selfishness - It can be handled when we learn selflessness.

Feelings of being disrespected - It decreases when our ego refines.

When we learn to raise above the things that turns us off and develop the ability to give love spontaneously, we can experience the flow of unconditional love. 

***********************************************************************************

Ego refines when understanding grows.

Irritation subsides when empathy grows.

Restlessness subsides when moderation develops.

Anger subsides when forgiveness grows.

Fear subsides when trust develops.

Misunderstandings subsides when compassion grows. 

***********************************************************************************

Growth lies outside comfort zone. Follow your heart, it will guide you in the right direction. But how much should one extend the boundaries of their comfort zone?  Moderation is the answer and in aspects where we find extremism in our tendencies, behaviors we can make an attempt to change.

Moderately pushing our boundaries, a bit is enough. Do not stretch to the point of breaking.

*********************************************************************************** 

Release the past with gratitude, surrender the future to God, enjoy the stillness of the present moment.

********************************************

Excessive activity without passivity and excessive passivity without activity both are equally dangerous.

********************************************

Be it inner qualities or skills or outer behavior or the situation someone handles we generally admire in others  what we are ( the common things), we have resistance towards what we are not and we have inspiration towards what we would like to be.

*********************************************

Joy of love is neither the beloved, nor the reciprocation,  joy of love is love itself. Same way the greatness of discipline is discipline itself, not the fruits of disciplined life. It's a blessing to be disciplined irrespective of what comes our way. Moderation is the highest discipline.  Discipline is a broad spectrum encompassing physical,mental,emotional,psychological social,spiritual dimensions. 

*********************************************

Ego refinement

" Innocence is an ego that does not get hurt" - J.K

Refining our ego and returning to our original purity is an interesting journey. I often feel we are all pure souls, trapped in a body and conditioned by the mind. Purity is our essence, but we have added layers and layers around the original purity we bought with us. How do we unwrap that?

The ego is manifested as offensive or defensive. Not only Shouting, making noise, and talking arrogantly alone are ego-based actions. At times avoiding, running away, feeling shy,  keeping quiet, etc, is ego.

What are the different things which hurt the ego? 

1. Things that hurt our self-respect:-

Not being informed  

Not being invited 

Not being included  

Not given priority  

Not given a chance/ opportunity  

Not being recognized/appreciated 

Not being valued 

Not being heard / understood

To be in a stagnating atmosphere without growth 

Being judged 

Being abused or falsely blamed 

Being very badly criticized 

Lack of reciprocation  of respect/ love/ time/ help

2. Selfishness -

When you realize that someone does not care but only uses and throws you according to their needs.

3. Jealousy

Jealous people who feel inadequate would knowingly or unknowingly hurt the other person just to feel better.

4. Awareness of one's own limitations 

Some limitations can be changed, and some others cannot be changed. Lack of awareness is a state of ignorance, but when awareness of our limitations flowers, we need to make peace with our limitations through action or acceptance. 

Be it a threat to self-respect or another person's selfishness or Jealousy, we have no control over what comes from outside. We cannot let our values go for a toss just because of what we receive from the external world.

The layers of ego get unwrapped with maturity. Maturity is the process of understanding the situation from all perspectives, accepting the as-is, and acting out of compassion and courage, not from ego and fear. Moderation and discriminative ability play a big role here.

Innocence is not ignorance or lack of awareness. The real refinement is understanding, which must be coupled with actions originating from compassion and courage.

Reflections May 2023

 Transparency

How transparent a person is, depends on one's honesty and the ability to be their natural self. It equally depends on the other person who is listening.

Communication is easy among people with common interests. 

What is communication beyond common interest? 

A listener with an open mind to any topic and the wisdom to understand what is being said.

With whom do we share our joys?

A person who is not jealous and a person who appreciates/encourages.

With whom do we share our grief?

An empathetic person.

Open-mindedness, Understanding, Encouragement, and Empathy are the qualities of a good listener.

How to handle the different types of people we come across?

1. Don't hesitate to take the first step to connect. Keep an open heart, don't be rigid.

2. If someone does any wrong, practice forgiveness.

3. Understand/empathize with the weaknesses/challenges the other person faces.

4. Go the extra mile and help the other person to overcome their weakness/ challenge.

5. Admire, appreciate, encourage everyone, and learn to see the good things in everyone.

6. Gratitude for the good people in our life.

Concentric emotional circles

 What is close?

Each of us has our own definition of close.

Some of the top reasons are we feel close to someone who guides us, accepts us, encourages us, hears us out, cares for us, loves us, values us, respects us, and remains trustworthy or reliable.

Among all the people we meet in our life journey, each impacts us differently. 

The outermost circle is the people with whom we have very casual talks, they give suggestions or information. They need not necessarily make us feel good, they don't make us feel bad.

The people in the second circle from the outside are our relatives who are with us in major good or bad life events. Acquaintances who are "Willing" to connect with us and become our friends come into this circle. They make us feel good by being there with us. 

The third circle from the outside consists of people who earned our trust by being reliable. We respect them for their qualities, and they respect us for whom we are. They are our close friends or a few of our relatives who have earned our affection and respect. Sometimes, people with common interests and aspirations can easily become close.

The fourth circle from the outside is the people we feel "attached to. " Knowingly or unknowingly there could be a need which was met by them. This is quite a vulnerable state because we give affection, respect, and trust without complete validation.

How people handle attachments:- 

1. Some people ignore and hurt us.

2. Some people treat us well because goodness is their nature but don't consider us close. 

3. Some people value us and reciprocate with affection and respect. Attachments turn into the best friendship only if trust, affection, and respect are mutual else it won't last long. Mutualism is possible if there is an attachment with care not an attachment with possessiveness and also the person who is first attached has qualities which other person respect. 

The fifth circle from the outside is a mentor kind of a person. An evolved soul with the wisdom and compassion to guide and support us when needed. We will meet very few of them in our entire life if we are lucky enough. They are selfless beings to a great extent.

The sixth circle from the outside is our family members,  parents, siblings, spouse, children, and inlaws who are with us all through this lifetime. 

The seventh circle from the outside is our spiritual guru who is with us in this life and beyond.

The innermost in the concentric circle is ourselves, the center.

Spending time and energy with those who truly care about us, be there for us, guide, support, love, and respect us is good. Be grateful for all the people in our life as everyone has a role.

I once felt master is a circle without circumference.  A circle whose love has no circumference.  A circle without a circumference is the center. In the same way, our love has to expand from ourselves to the entire universe. 

Bloom and help others bloom

1. Contentment 

Be happy with what is, yet do the best, and utilize the full potential irrespective of the results. (Nishkama karma)

 2. Calmness - In Acceptance Lies Peace.

a. Nonresistance 

B. Let go

C. Move on

Self-acceptance is as important as acceptance of external situations and other people.

Take the required action.  Progress in peace.

3. Compassion - 

In Gratitude lies joy. ( Cheerful acceptance)

a. Be grateful for what is.

b. Forgive the wrongdoings arising out of ignorance, ego, or desires. Forgiveness liberates us.

4. Courage - 

In courage lies freedom. 

Courage is the ability to trust ( Trust is acceptance without the idea of acceptance)

To start something, we need courage.

 If we fail or get stuck, we need more courage to restart and trust all over again.

Trust in one's own self, trust in God, trust in fellow beings, and trust in the flow of life.

5. Clarity - Discriminative ability or free will.

Act out of love and wisdom, not from fear, anger, or ego.

The above 5 C's are the liberating qualities.

6. Moderation is the means; the attitude of moderation is both the journey and the destination. 

7. Now is all that exists.

8. In surrender lies freedom. 

Babuji says, "Surrender like dead in the hands of the dresser." 

Babuji says, " Surrender is complete not only when we surrender to God, but also to all of God's creations. "

In every moment of choice, keep applying the qualities of Nonresistance, letting go, moving on, gratitude, forgiveness, trust, living in the NOW, and surrender. Moderation is the means.

Keep repeating until the escape velocity is crossed; at one stage, these things will become our base qualities and very nature.

It's not just about reading, writing, listening, or speaking.

It's not just about knowing, understanding, feeling, or realizing.

It's all about manifesting and living in the state of being.

When a soul awakens to reality, it's as beautiful as the blooming of a flower.

Bloom where you are planted. Our salvation lies in our situations. Take the self-responsibility for self-refinement.

A blooming flower is beautiful; a garden of flowers is all the more beautiful.

We are all in a collective evolution.  Bloom and help others, Bloom. 

Shift your focus

 Well I wasn't running towards something, I knew I was running away from something. Running away from a situation that is a potential threat to my ego.I was running away from it in the fear of not hurting my ego and feeling embarrassed. 

But within me I understood how many times can I run away from it, what i am running away from is not outside me, it is within me.  Its my own fear. A situation is not going to create fear, after all its not going to create anything.  Each of us handle the same situation based on what is within us. So how long can we run away from something which is within us? So let's face it. 

Face the fears, fear of loosing,  fear of judgment,fear of failures, fear of rejection , fear of opposition, fear of alone, fear of opinions.  Understand that these are all external factors which we don't have any control on. So let go of what comes from outside and shift the focus within. Build on your own inner empire. 

Accept yourself, improve yourself, take care of yourself, understand yourself, forgive yourself, heal yourself,  enjoy yourself, believe in yourself, be responsible for yourself and above all love yourself .

Healthy Relationships

Life is a mix of different types of people, some we are drawn towards, some we want to stay away from, some we enjoy with momentarily, some we value, some we are grateful for, some we learn from.

Tough people teach us the value of good people.

The immature people who speak, act, expect, demand without thinking from the other person's perspective teach us the value of matured people who speak the right things, moderately and politely.

The people who manifest anger and hatred teach the value of people who are empathetic and forgiving.

The people who are jealous teach the value of people who are our well-wishers.

The people who are highly critical teach the value of encouraging people. 

The people who try to possess in the name of love and interfere in others freedom teach the value of those who manifest space in love and just let the others be.

Self-centered ,benefit seeking people teach the value of helpful, selfless people who go out of their way to be there for us.

Lazy and irresponsible people teach the value of sacrificing souls who shoulder the responsibility of other people too.

Insensitive people who do not know to handle love teach the value of those who respect and reciprocate.

Despite being good while being there in day-to-day life, people who are like "out of sight out of mind" , teach the value of those who make an attempt to be in our life.

Time spent with good people may become a fond memory when our life takes a different course, we may think of them and even miss them but what is important is to make an attempt to keep in touch. Those who make an attempt to stay in touch are the one's who value us the most and those who have learnt the value of healthy relationships. Keeping in touch means making an attempt to meet, if that is not possible then make a attempt to call or at least a periodic text message.

However good a person is, unless two people make a mutual decision to be there all through a relationship is not going to last long. Anything which is not mutual is not sustainable.  

 There could be misunderstanding, conflict of interest, differences of opinion but some relationships thrive beyond all that. There are some people we may admire or drawn towards but could not get really close, the admiration was just on one or two surface qualities.  There are some people who have been kind because kindness is their nature. Still there is a difference between kindness and closeness. 

Best friends are matured, forgiving, well-wishers, encouraging, selfless, helpful, grateful, reciprocating and above all value us and make an attempt to be in our life irrespective of external factors. Healthy relationships are a combination of mutual admiration, mutual gratitude and mutual reciprocation.

We could never get too busy to keep in touch.  In the book Zen the art of simple living the word busy is defined as "no place in the heart ".

Reflections- April(Part 1)

What flows towards us depends first on our interest(openness), secondly on our handling ability and thirdly on retention ability by making ourselves deserving of what we get. When we digest and handle what comes, we create room for more to flow in.

Staying committed even if the need or benefit is not ours is a high level of respect towards fellow beings and manifestation selflessness. 

Babuji says, "Constantly thinking good for others is Service". A leader is the one who serves others by thinking and acting for other people's welfare, just spontaneously, selflessly. 

Maturity is empathy towards immaturity.

Trusting that the past, present and future is for our own good is acceptance without the idea of acceptance. 

Don't just inform about your blessings to the world, share your blessings with others, that is how you take people along and also create space to attract more when you let it flow. 

We act based on our awareness. But we tend to forget what comes to our awareness and revert back to old methods, if we keep connected to the source (book, mentor, meditation) from which wisdom originates we probably won't forget what we learn.

There are four levels of evolution in the person we are as well as the people we meet: trouble creating person, harmless person, kind person, dependable person.

There is a freedom of choice in manifesting Kindness. The person can choose when to be kind, how much to be kind and to whom to be kind. A person who Continuously manifests kindness becomes dependable or reliable person. Dependable person has been more selfless in choosing to be kind. Most of us are dependable for a small group of family or friends. As the circle expands, it reflects our selflessness. The whole of humanity has unconditional dependency on saint or guru.

Everyone we see outside is a reflection of our inner self. A past self which we can empathize with, a present self which we can connect with or those from whom we take inspiration are our future self.

Fear is the greatest obstacle which we need to overcome. Fear of judgement, fear of rejection, fear of failure. When we learn to grow with criticism, accept rejections, learn from failures and take opinions in a light spirit we have reached a new level of consciousness. 

When we work ahead of time it's the path to progress and success,

When we work for the current situation, it leads to retention and eventually only stagnation,

When we do not work, it will lead to degradation and slowly deterioration.

Our evolution is a journey from selfishness to selflessness.

Trust

 Trust the flow of life.

Trust that everything happens for your highest good.

Trust the past, trust the present,  trust the future.

Trust that the universe is working in your favour.

Trust is contentment, trust is total acceptance, trust is holding on,

Trust is forgiveness, trust is letting go,

Trust is courage, trust is moving on.

Trust is new start,trust is also re start.

Trust the success as utilization of full potential, 

Trust the failure as process of enriching experience,

Trust the blows as a means to expand consciousness,.

Trust the fellow beings,

Trust in God, 

Trust yourself,( the voice within).

"Your heart knows the way, run in that direction "-Rumi

Gita Sara says to trust the past, present and future. Life is all about utilizing our full potential and not be carried away by success and dejected by failures or unexpected blows.

Liberation

Mahabharat is such an interesting epic that covers all aspects of life. It's said that after winning the Kurukshetra war, the Pandavas ruled for eighteen years then during their old age Pandavas along with Draupadi went to Himalayas and they passed away one by one except for Yudishtra, who is said to have entered the heaven while still in body. He was liberated while still in the body. 

Content people (1st liberating quality) are the happy people in the society. 

Calm people (2nd liberating quality) are harmless people in the society.

Compassionate people (3rd liberating quality) are loved by others.

Courageous people (4th liberating quality) are respected by others.

The liberating qualities need not be sequential. Bheema manifested courage but at one stage he fell down, it was said that it was due to his lack of contentment and greed towards food.

Only Yudishtra manifested contentment, Calmness, Compassion, Courage and most importantly clarity. He was stable through all situations of life and lived a life of moderation. Clarity comes only when we are out of illusion of attachment.

There are two sides to each liberating quality. 

Contentment: Satisfaction with whatever we have as well as doing our best.

Calmness: Life is a balance between holding on and letting go. In acceptance peace. Let go but have the will power to hold on to the righteousness.  Adapt but not fully adopt.

Compassion: The ability to appreciate the good and forgive the bad.

Courage: Balance between trusting what is to be and living the now completely even if the trust is broken, we need to move on with the ability to trust all over again.

 Lalaji says "Mental attachment is bondage, detachment is Liberation". This clearly implies that Liberation is not non possession of things, it means that nothing should possess us.

Babuji says "Liberation is like a child's toy. Liberation is the bare minimal which we need to achieve in this lifetime. Fix your goal which should be complete oneness with God, rest not until the ideal is achieved".

Chariji says " The real liberation is freedom from the idea of freedom ". This clearly conveys liberation is not escapism from duties or pain. Excessively seeking freedom is a bondage in itself. Liberation is an attitude of moderation even from liberation itself. 

Daaji says " Be courageous, be loving, be peaceful and less inviting to desires. This is the heartfulness way of life". He speaks about the five C's. The above statement implies that the practice of the first four c's is the heartfulness way of life.  It automatically leads to the fifth C, clarity which liberates us from illusions. 

 Let's go agile, the main goal is complete oneness with God; liberation is a smaller goal on the way.Split liberation into smaller chunks, manifest liberating qualities (Contentment, Calmness, Compassion, Courage, Clarity) in our day-to-day life and keep refining ourselves. 

Move On

 I recently attended a one-hour session on art therapy. All the participants were given a white paper and paint and were asked to use our hands to paint instead of using the brush. This was to get out of our comfort zone and bring the inner child in us to action. After few minutes of hesitation in getting our hands dirty all of us started enjoying the painting as we kept hearing soft and gentle instructions from the trainer. People used their imagination and came up with amazing painting of their idea of reality, how they wanted. After half an hour most of us had already completed what we felt like painting.  We were then asked to exchange our sheet with our neighbors, then continue painting in the new sheet which we got. Many people did not like this exchange. People did not want to give away their idea of reality which they created except for those who got a better picture after the sheets were exchanged. Some could accept what they got and continue with it, some were more than happy with what they got while some others were disappointed with what they got.

This small session had so much to convey about the reality of life. When we are young have the ability to dream and give our 100 %. Life can be the way we want it to be after giving our best. At times what we get from life can be even more than the efforts we put it. At other times the results can be highly disappointing after giving our best. When this happens, some people sink in depression while some others try to accept and make peace. Peace is healing but the real courage is the ability to move on, love, hope, trust, dream and live all over again irrespective of what had happened in the past. Who knows this time we retain what we create so why be hesitant in giving the 100 %. Perhaps the journey is not even about having or losing, the journey is all about our attitude. 

Is there greater gift than feeling of love and a greater punishment than the feeling of hatred.

Is there greater gift than forgiveness and a greater punishment than carrying a burden.

Is there greater joy than giving our 100% and a greater punishment than holding back a part of ourselves. 

Is there greater joy than placing our trust and a greater discomfort than feelings of doubt.

Is there greater freedom than courage and greater bondage than fear.

Let's always give in our 100 % irrespective of what happened in the past. That's the real moving on with courage, hope and trust. that is how we live in the NOW.

Moderation - The Journey and the Destination

" Out beyond the idea of right doing and wrongdoing there is a space I will meet you there " - Rumi.

"Moderation is the character of a Saint" - Lalaji

I think moderation is both the means and the goal, the journey and the destination. There should be a Moderation even in the liberating conditions.

1. Contentment - State of satisfaction while still giving our best.

2. Calmness - In acceptance peace, accept what is while use the will power to create the reality we want.

3. Compassion - Appreciate the goodness and forgive the mistakes.

4. Courage - Ability to trust fully yet stay detached.

In day-to-day life we should try to apply the principles of Moderation in the simple things.

1. We should practice the habit of "giving it sometime", this brings about self-control. All our senses can be brought into moderation, when we don't get over excited and give things sometime. Of course, this is not against enjoying life or having fun, but we should not be desperate or addicted to anything.  Addiction is extremism.  In the same way avoiding or running away from something is also another extremism.  We need to strike a balance between running for a thing or person and running away from a thing or person.

Living the moment is a good thing but it has be balanced by giving it some time. We need to start by overcoming the feelings of " I have to tell this thing right away", " I have to eat this right away", " I have to buy this right away ". Hold on give it sometime, Do not get addicted. At the same time overcome the resistance in not able to speak out or not allowing ourselves to enjoy.

2. Moderation is also about setting boundaries (Moderation between the self and the other).  We should not be very rigid; we should bend and adapt to changes at the same time we should not break. We should learn how much to give be it a material thing, physical help, emotional help, financial help, spiritual help, time, money. Sharing is caring. But at the same time, we should not allow ourselves to be exploited. Inability to set boundaries should be corrected. 

Similar way we should try to be self-adequate and help ourselves in all dimensions and seek help only when we really need. Inability to ask for help should be corrected. 

3. When an unlikely event happens, we first look at it from our perspective.  We need to be moderate and look at the same situation from the other person's perspective. There should be a moderation in our perception of things.

4.Even small weight carried (in the mind) for a long time becomes heavy. It does not matter that weight we carry is good or bad, we like it or not. In either case it creates heaviness. Moderation is going beyond the dualities.

Do not consume what is available, consume only what is necessary. This is discrimination. Discrimination is liberation. The degree to which our discriminative ability is developed, is the degree to which we will manifest moderation. 

The Whole and the Nothing are the same. Expanding towards infinity and contracting towards nothingness are the same. How? God is both infinite and nothing.  Not sometime this and sometime that but at the same time this and that. That is the perfectly balanced state of moderation. Moderation is both the whole and the nothing. Because in moderation we are considering everything as well as ignoring nothing. 

Moderation both the journey and the destination. It's a natural outcome of a liberated soul. We develop the discriminative ability (Clarity) through the other four C's (Contentment, calmness, compassion and courage). these qualities are not only for the way we treat others but also for our own selves. Many a times we stumble and fall on our journey. So, let's accept our weakness and calm down. Let's be compassionate towards ourselves by forgiving ourselves. Let's be courageous to get up from the fall and start walking all over again. 

Moderation is not a one step process that has a cut off saying it is done. It's a gradual process, life is a continuous assessment to both learn and apply. As and when we fail, we re-learn and re-apply what we learn and move on to learn more. There is no end to this process. We move towards perfect moderation through moderation, in moderation. Closer and closer to the perfectly balanced state - the source or God, the state of Maha pralaya or the total dissolution or the state which existed before creation. 

Meditation is passivity. In meditation awareness blooms. To act on awareness requires will power. Moderation in passivity and activity i.e., awareness and action are most essential. 

Reflections March

Universally Together but yet alone. Don't fear alone as strength lies within. 

Let go. We can only loose what we hold on to. Detachment is the art of being grateful for the good people and things without getting used to it.

 Try to be self-adequate. Try to meet your own needs as much as possible instead of developing dependency. Though human beings are Inter dependent never allow the formation of habits or addictions.

Do not invite anything, do not resist anything.  Just Be. Courage is the ability to live in the NOW. We navigate the eternity through the NOW. This moment is Now. From this moment to next moment what exists is change. In every moment we should just go on with the flow of change without being for or against.

Being a compassionate listener means to just listen without judgement. Let the person pour out whatever they want to at that point of time. Don't be surprised when they change perspectives, be happy they are moving on from their confusion.

Complete letting go (be it a person or thing which hurt you) requires courage. It's not only making peace with what is but also the ability to give another chance and trust all over again.

We share our joys with those whom we like but we can share our sorrows only with those who like us. If we have someone to share both joys and sorrows then we are very lucky because to love and being loved is the greatest gift on earth.

Dependency creates bondage, being independent is freedom.  Moderate, adequate interdependency is Reality.  Liberation is freedom from the idea of freedom. Moderation is liberation. 

Gratitude without dependency is saintliness. 

Practice the habit of " Giving it sometime" and come of impulsive addictions and tune into self-control.

Acceptance is manifestation of peace, letting go is manifestation of compassion, moving on is manifestation of courage. Peace, compassion and courage are liberating. 

We are human beings, vertebrates, stand straight with confidence, don't lean on anything or anyone.

Human beings with free will make choices. The choices can change. Likes, dislikes, love, hatred, trust, doubt, be there for us, not be there for us. When we understand this clearly, we will no longer be impacted (in good way or bad way) by the choices made by others. 

An opinion which someone has about us is their choice. Not to be affected by other people's opinion is our choice. Transcending external opinions is liberating. It sets us free from our own chains. 

The choices we make also need not depend on the choice which other people make. The choices we make should depend on what we feel is right and what gives us joy. This way we won't have expectations, we would be more ourselves and we would be more joyful.

When unlikely event happens accept (process of making peace with what is), let go (manifestation of compassion), move on (manifestation of courage). We can create a new reality when we courageously move on. How quickly we can accept, let go and move on shows our strength.

The movement from nonresistance to acceptance is quiet a big journey.

At any given point of time when we treat people around us the same way irrespective of how close they are to us is called fair treatment. But what is real equality? Why some people are close to us? There is some underlying condition for our love. When we detach ourselves from the underlying condition of love and still love then it's called unconditional love. Equality is a natural result of unconditional love. This is the holy trinity of detachment (detach to the condition that is responsible for love, not the love itself), unconditional love and equality.

How to detach? Attach to God or the source. 

Even small weight carried (in the mind) for a long time becomes heavy. It does not matter that weight we carry is good or bad, we like it or not. In either case it creates heaviness. 

Do not consume what is available, consume only what is necessary. This is discrimination.

Activity and passivity refer to the mind. Let the body be active and mind be still, not the vice versa.

The Whole and the nothing are the same. Expanding towards infinity and contracting towards nothing are the same. How? God is both infinite and nothing.  Not sometime this and sometime that but at the same time this and that. That is the perfectly balanced state of moderation. Moderation is both the whole and the nothing. Because in moderation we are considering everything as well as ignoring nothing. 

Adapt,  not fully adopt to the extent of leaving your good habits.Learn to discriminate what is required to let go and what is required to hold on.Combine acceptance with will power. Use discriminative ability.

We can create a new reality only when we come out of the illusion of fear.Healing from wound is a beautiful thing but we can't spend too much time in healing alone. We need to have the courage and interest to move ahead.

To move ahead, we should have a goal. Only then we know which direction to move on.Else we will just be lying there to be pulled by the direction of the wind.In case we failed in reaching our previous goal or reaching the goal did not make us feel good and complete and we lost the ability to dream again we are only letting fear of past control us.Throw away the shackles of the past and move on with courage. The ability to dream is courage. The ability to dream and trust all over again is the real courage irrespective of whatever happened in the past.

State of bliss

A deeper dive into the liberating qualities which lead us to a state of bliss.

1. Contentment - First point in our spiritual journey. Content person manifests stability. A stable person is reliable person. A reliable person is selfless who puts others needs ahead of themselves.

2. Calmness (Peace) - Second point in our spiritual journey. In acceptance, peace. The tool to practice acceptance is gratitude. Accepting the 'what is'.

Babuji says " Acceptance is a wise counselor. Acceptance saves time. Acceptance saves us from blows. Wise people accept, the least wise balk. Make love and acceptance the two fulcrums of your life."

3. Compassion (Love) - Third point in our spiritual journey. In cheerful acceptance, love. The tool to practice love is appreciation. An appreciating heart is a loving heart. Appreciating the 'what is'. Appreciation is the ability to see the good side of things.

4. Courage - Fourth point in our spiritual journey. Courage is absence of fear. Fear is such a thing that makes a human do what they really do not want to do. It takes courage to follow the heart more than the crowd. It takes courage to live in the NOW. It takes courage to stop worrying about something that has not yet happened or that may never happen. 

Overcoming the fear of known and the fear of unknown, understanding that strength lies within and not outside. Detachment is the tool to overcome fear. When we don't have attachment there is nothing to lose. 

Why we form attachment? There could be many reasons but one main reason for attachment is gratitude. Somewhere someone knowingly or unknowingly met our need, we are grateful. Instead of stopping there we go ahead and get attached without our knowledge. 

Since human beings are inter dependent somewhere someone helping us to meet our need is okay but that should not become a habit or addiction, we should always try to be self-adequate.

In gratitude we should have the awareness that what is, is not eternal. The person can move away from our life journey, the person may change while still being there or the person might have unknowingly met some need but may not always be there for us. Detachment in gratitude is essential. Detachment removes fear. Courage is absence of fear. Courage gives rise to Freedom!

Acceptance without the idea of acceptance is detachment. In courage, Freedom. The tool to practice courage is detachment.

5. Clarity - The fifth point in our spiritual journey. At this point of time, I think that the appropriate mastery on contentment, calmness, compassion and courage automatically paves way to clarity.

Of course, our mastery on these points need not be sequential. There can be a detached person who is not content and hence not stable and reliable. There can be a detached person who may not be loving. 

Clarity gives way to SAT CHIT and ANANDAM. A liberated soul will remain in a state of bliss. It's not easy to attain this state while still living in the body. We live in a world of illusion. But we need to make use of the illusions to refine ourselves (understand, adjust our thoughts, learn, unlearn, relearn) and move on to a permanent state of bliss (A perfect blend of contentment, calmness, compassion, courage, clarity).  It's not easy, but not impossible either.

Sometimes we have dirty situations in the flow of life. People breaking our trust, people who have been just using our kindness. Somethings can be ignored while some others hurt us deeply and put us in a state of fear. In fear we loose clarity and remain confused. How to overcome fear ? Only through faith. Faith is what ? Faith in the flow of life. Trust there is ove , peace and goodness within and around us irrespective of how many people might have individually broken our trust. 

Courage is the ability to trust all over again. Close your eyestrustwith all your heart trust there is peace and love, then it is already there. 

Reflections February 2023

 Practice gratitude in the smallest things of day-to-day life. Be grateful for "what is" instead of complaining about " What is not" and yet be aware to stay detached because " what is " is not eternal. Gratitude is the application towards acceptance and outcome is peace. 

Practice the art of enjoying the flow of life, appreciating people and things as it is (instead of expecting things to be as per our idea, good need not always match with our idea of good) is a step towards "cheerful acceptance", the outcome is Joy.

 At times unknowingly we dress gratitude with attachment, and it starts getting heavy. Be grateful yet 'detached'. Gratitude is a beautiful subtle feeling. "Attachment" is an emotion. Feel the feeling without the emotion. Then gratitude becomes liberating else it will become binding.

A transition from independent to the understanding that human beings are Inter dependent was a old learning but practice the give and receive of love with open heart, give and receive of wisdom with open mind and give and receive of help with open hands. Give and receive is moderation, only one is extremism. 

Wisdom is awareness, wisdom is sensitivity, wisdom is reciprocation. Being sensitive to other people's needs and reciprocating even if the need is not ours is selflessness. Respect is a good quality. There is a difference between respect and love. Respect only reciprocates. Love Initiates, love does not wait for the other person to initiate. Only the love between two lovers is eternal. 

In any situation we have the choice to go with the flow of life (enjoy, appreciate, accept or tolerate) or go against the flow but be convinced from within why you want to resist the flow of life. At times we might have to change ourselves and our attitude and not the flow of life. At times we won't be able to do that (push ourselves to purity which our conscience demands), then accept our own limitation at this point of time and make peace with it. May be sometime later we would be able to change and become better and purer.

"Needs being met" leaves a greater impact on us than better things which happen when the need is not ours. There are times when we are not aware of our own needs! or do not know how to fulfill our needs. Self-awareness and self-help are very important aspects of our journey. 

Always be aware that humans are dynamic, and they change their perceptions in the journey. So, learn to be a compassionate listener without being impacted by others' perceptions.

Each of us have our cup of strength and weakness, when another person's weakness manifests itself, leave it for the other person to handle it. Learn from the good in others. Go with the flow if their weakness does not create an impact on us. In some cases, some weakness can create an impact on us, there keep appropriate space for self-protection without disliking the person.

Going beyond the expansion of consciousness and clarity of thoughts with a child's wonder is amazing but the condition of thoughtless and perfect stillness which is miraculous results from mediation and grace of Guru.