The liberating qualities

 As per  Sahaj Marg system of Raja Yoga, there are five points in the heart region(subtle knots  in our Astral body) the losseining or unwinding of these knots are essential to move ahead towards liberation( A state wherein a soul has a choice to be born in this earth dimension )

1.The first point starts in the left side of our heart region and is connected to the element earth, contentment is the key quality of this point or knot. The degree of our contentment depends on our ability to practice Gratitude. At each point we also need to apply the moderation technique. So in a state of contentment we need to do our best.

2. The second point is in the right side of the heart. It's called as the atman point. The key quality of this point is calmness/peace. We need to practice Acceptance to arrive at a state of peace or calmness. Applying the moderation technique,  we need to progress in peace.

3. The third point is above the first point on the left side of the heart. The key quality of this point is love/compassion.  It's the point of fire. We need to practice Non Judgment to arrive at a state of compassion/love.  Applying the moderation technique we need to integrate love and detachment. 

4. The fourth point is above the second point on the right side of the heart. Its a point of water. The key quality of this point is courage. We need to practice "living in the NOW " to arrive at a state of courage, without having regrets of  the past or anxiety of the future. Applying the moderation technique,  while living in the NOW, we need to learn from the past and be prepared to face the future.

5. The fifth point is right below the throat. It's a point of space or sky. The key quality is clarity/ discrimination which differentiates human beings from other creatures. We need to practice Truth to arrive at a state of clarity. Applying the moderation technique here, all the consciousness attained in the journey should be liberating and not binding. 

When we apply the moderation technique at each point, automatically our consciousness which develops at each point will be liberating and not binding.

In simple words Daaji says we need to keep a check on the five C's which are the liberating qualities.  Contentment, Calmness, Compassion, Courage, Clarity each representing the key quality from points 1 to 5. There is still a very long journey beyond liberation but that is a bare minimum we need to achieve in this life time. 

" Be courageous, be peaceful, be loving and less inviting to desires,  that is the heartfulness way of life" - Daaji

So this beautiful statement clearly states our way of life should be manifesting the liberating qualities in our day to day existence.  Liberation is not a magical condition which someone can bestow upon us,  it's all upon us to acquire those qualities and manifest them in our life's journey. 

Learning never ends

 Our evolution is a process of continuous learning, un learning and re learning.  2022 had been quiet a year in that aspect. There were some new situations,  there were some repetitive situations some of which I was able to handle in a refined way and still some of the situations revealed the unhealed aspects of me to myself or say the areas which were transformed but not completely transformed.

1. Let go of fear of judgement. 

At times we would be able to actually handle the actual situation but not the fear of other people's judgement about it. Let go of it, don't do anything unless you really want to do. 

Whatever is happening with us be it good or bad, people will judge us with our current situation nobody knows our entire history so never bother much about other people's judgement about you.

2. Practice detachment

" Everything is temporary -  thoughts, emotions ,people and scenery.  Do not become attached, just flow with it. "

" Repetitive waves of change are the secrets of eternity".

3. Be gentle on yourself. 

At times it's easy to accept the external but what is more difficult is Acceptance of certain  aspects of ourselves which comes to awareness but not to our liking. Slowly,  calmly  take efforts to become a better version of yourself. Self Acceptance , self forgiveness , begining all over again takes courage.

4. Never give up on yourself.

 Peace is complete only when we progress in peace not just sit back and become a idle spectator.  Continuously work in improving yourself in all dimensions. " It's not always about healing , at times we need to go ahead and create something new".

5. Bend but do not break.

In extreme tolerance at times we let ourselves break due to the burden of other people's expectations. Don't take unwanted tension.  Be fair but let people learn to handle their own greed or expectations or jealousy.Its not at all our responsibility. 

When we wish something we can hope, when we need something we can request but demanding another person based on our needs and expectations should never happen. 

6. Move away (mentally) from energy draining people. 

At times we drain ourselves unknowingly due to extreme kindness . Be empathetic and kind but don't let yourself get drained by immature people. No one will come with you the long way. Our time and energy is precious why let it be drained by random people. It's important to channelize our energy  towards constructive things.

7. Revert to moderation at the earliest

In any given situation,  extremism of either the good or bad is not ideal. Practice moderation of thoughts ,words and actions.

Lack of consciousness and hence being free is one extreme.  Being conscious of fact and hence limiting ourselves is another extreme.  Our consciousness should liberate us and not limit us.

8. Have the higher understanding that needs vary.

When we understand the concept that the needs of individuals vary in all dimensions we can live with greater Acceptance of each other.l without judgement.

Some people can be minimalist and manifest simplicity while some people can be very particular about enjoying pleasures.

People's needs and ideas about success and achievement also varies.

People's emotional needs also vary.  Some people are very independent Whereas some people have a constant need for a company for everything, be it going out with a group or keep inviting people home for eating together and spending time together.

Need for solitude,  need for socializing, need for attention, need for peace, need for wisdom and knowledge, need for love and affection, everything varies.

The five pillars of life

 My top five takes in this lifetime. The five pillars of life. 

1. In acceptance, peace

If peace is the foundation of life, acceptance is the means to it. Its both about self Acceptance and acceptance of others. This quality prevents us from complaining, fault finding, strong judgements,criticism and victim mindset. Instead of wasting our energy in resisting the what is, let us focus on accepting the what is and channel our energy in working in the present moment.

2. In Gratitude, joy

Practicing gratitude is the next step of Acceptance.  It is cheerful acceptance.  It indirectly also paves way for contentment which is a liberating quality.

Gratitude keeps us in a positive state of mind,content,cheerful and hence joyful.  It releives us from negative feelings such as jealousy and feeling of inadequacy when we come across people better than us because we are content and cheerful with what is for us. It also helps to handle success without pride and arrogance because we tie what is with gratitude to the creator and not to our ego.

3. Moderation the means

Moderation is neither white nor black but grey. It's not sometimes this and sometimes that but integrating the dualities of existence at the same time. Moderation is amalgamation. Moderation is saintliness. Moderation is negation and hence God. Love is highest Moderation. God is love. 

4. Now is all that exist

Living in the NOW removes the anxiety of the future and burden of the past. What happened, happened.  What will be, will be. Now is all that exists for us to act. When we understand that human beings are dynamic and can correct themselves at any moment of their journey,  we will never judge anyone. What they did happened but by living in the NOW we give allowance for them ,a fresh chance every day , every moment just like how we would like to be given. It indirectly helps us to move on,let go, forgive.

5. In surrender,  divine help.

There is nothing much that can be told about surrender, we all have moments when we thoughts its over but that was a new beginning.  " Those who leave everything in God's hand will find God's hand in everything". Surrender is not passive submission.  It is surrendering the what was, doing the best with what is and surrendering the what will be. 

Social person

 Who is a social person?

There are four main categories of people

1. people who only like to take from other people, selfish and clever who make advantage of all people and situations 

2. People who only like to give but can never receive.They find receiving embarassing and hurting. They maintain a very high degree of self respect.

3. The touch me not type of people who don't like either giving or receiving.

4. The moderate person  can be called a social person who is open to both giving and receiving. Giving and receiving love, giving and receiving time, giving and receiving help,giving and receiving suggestions. 

There is a lot of misconceptions about social person. A social person is not someone who talks with everyone and goes out for coffee. 

A social person is not a people pleaser. But they can give and receive in moderation,  spontaneously and effortlessly.

A social person cares for others and wishes the best for people around them. Actually all of us give and receive to a small group of family and close friends but we become social when our circumference expands.

 The only way to expand our circumference  is to practice Universal love and the only way to spend time for society is through service.Serve anonymously without any expectations.  A service minded person is a real social person. A ideal human being.

Salvation lies in our situations

One of the most important thing in our evolutionary path is our ability to learn, unlearn and relearn when required.  The people we meet and the situations we encounter in our journey all help in refining our thoughts and actions when we understand the bigger picture.

Our salvation always lies in handling our situations in the best possible way. 

1. Dealing with people who are extremely different from us

How open are we to people and things which are not similar to us. How much can we admire and appreciate those whose personality,  lifestyle, principles or thought process is very much different from us. How much can we agree to disagree and still stay peaceful. How much can we love even in disagreements.Appreciating diversity is very essential in our learning process.

We live according to our level of awareness and capability and everybody lives life the way they think is good or the way they like it or simply the way they know it.

Never judge people whose lifestyle is totally different from us. 

2. Dealing with people whose life standards are different from us. 

At times we come across people whose standard is higher than us .Its important to stay confident when someone judges our ability, not everyone is a legend. It's okay to be a mediocre or still evolving or in the process of learning something.

 Stay tolerant when someone does not meet the standards which we follow be it in any aspect of life.

3. Dealing with immature mind, ignorant people who burden us without their awareness.

How much we can accept and love ignorant people who burden us without their awareness, burden us with their endless expectations.How to keep calm while dealing with these people. 

This is when we have to transition from sacrifice to service, from independent to dependable.

Ignorant people who can talk anything without thinking how it affects others. We cannot change them but if we waste time and energy on thier ignorant words then it means we are all the more ignorant.

"The art of knowing is knowing what to ignore". - Rumi

4. How to deal with a mature mind but not a loving heart.

A ideal human is a perfect amalgamation of a mature mind and a loving heart. But this combination is rare.At times we admire a mature mind only to understand that a loving heart is what is equally important in any relationship.

There is no ego and expectations in love because affection is always spontaneous and effortless but at any point when we feel that there is no reciprocation its ok to give it a pause, for our own self respect and self care.

5. How to be a good listener 

While listening is a great quality which encompasses kindness, compassion and friendship we don't always listen to positive ,elevating, thought provoking things. Many a times we might have to listen to a disturbed mind or a hurt heart which only wants to pour out without taking any inputs to fix the disturbance or hurt. Give honest , unbiased opinions to people who may take it. Learn to listen without getting affected.

A cricket match is not only about handling a bouncer and keeping the wicket its also about going ahead and making score. So too in life each of us gets different types of bouncer in the form of people and situations.  so it's not only about keeping peace its about going ahead and creating something new. 

Life is not always about healing form the past, it's also about channeling our energy and creating a good future. 

Never stagnate in peace. It's incomplete.  The completion and balance lies in progressing in peace, progressing with peace. 

Magic of moderation

Moderation seems to be so magical and liberating. 

Chariji says " God is neither this nor that but at the same time both this and that ". 

Babuji says " Grey is the colour of reality ".A mix of black and white gives grey.

Lalaji says " Moderation is a saintly attribute and the most important quality of a spiritual aspirant".

Khalil Gibran on his book The Prophet -: " some of you say that joy is greater than sorrow, some of you say that sorrow is greater than joy but I say they are inseparable.  Together they come, and when one sits alone with you at your board, remember the other is asleep upon your bed" .

So two avoid extreme oscillation we need to keep our oscillation minimal.

God is zero, God is negation so to realize God the means is moderation.

In our journey we move from multiplicity to trinity then to duality and then to unity in our perception of things.

Moderation is not sometimes this and sometimes that, but moderation is at the same time both this and that.

Sahaj Marg says just like a bird with two wings find a balance between both the spiritual and material aspects of life. Daaji uses a more refined term  " integrate" instead of "balance".

If God is negation, God is love and moderation is the way to God then love is moderation! Love is not opposite of hatred. Love is our natural condition.Love is effortless effort, love is forceless force, love is powerless power. Love is beyond the dualities of senses  which mind can understand, love is unity, it begins when dualities ends. 

Moderation in day to day life:

1. Moderation between the freedom given to a child and parenting push.

2. Moderation between the blind trust and mutually agreed rules in a couple.

3. Moderation in the time we spend for family and work.

4. Moderation in spending and earning.

5. Moderation in forgiving others and setting clear expectations.

6. Moderation in senses, moderate enjoyment, moderate eating, moderate talking.

7. Moderation in friendship binding affection, self respect and proper boundaries.

8. Moderation between self love and universal love.

Moderation in our personality type: 

Meyer briggs classifies all the world's personality into 16 broad categories which arise from permutation and combination of four basic types. 

For more information check  :

https://www.16personalities.com/free-personality-test

Though all of us have all the combination of personalities within us yet the percentage of it varies. If we are 90 % introvert and 10 % extrovert or if we are 51 % introvert and 49 % extrovert makes a big difference.

1. Moderation between thinking and feeling.To take inputs from our environment we need to use both our thinking and feeling aspects of our personality.

2. Moderation between our sensing faculty and intuitive nature.( Sensing is the aspect of us which relies more on data and facts to gather information and intuitive nature  is relying on gut feeling which comes from within)

3. Moderation between our introverted and extroverted nature.

4. Moderation between immediate decision making ability and prolonged decision making ability.

Assertiveness

 This 'assertiveness' concept, self expression, self care and self love is becoming very trendy in the modern days.

Do we have the right understanding of assertiveness. Assertiveness is many times misunderstood as expressing our thoughts and ideas without consideration for others. Assertiveness is not rigidity. Assertiveness is the ability to bend without breaking. Assertiveness is moderate flexibility. 

I recollect a episode from Mahabarath serial when Gandhari was getting married. She was not in whole hearted acceptance of getting married to a blind man, she could not resist it either. She forced herself to live a blind folded life when actually her husband was expecting to see the world through her eyes. Elders and their kula guru were not in favour of her decision to blindfold herself.   Kula guru mentioned,

" If a woman is very adamant its not good for the welfare of the family." She did not guide her children in the right direction and eventually there was a disaster. 

Be it in family life or in any human relationship one has to be flexible and be considerate of others and equally considerate of oneself.This is how we can bend without breaking. This is possible only through love. Submissive people should learn to practice self love, dominating people should learn to love fellow beings.

We should express ourself in a assertive way while balancing between love  for others and self love.

Detach and liberate

The word 'detachment' may seem very tough or big thing but actually once we understand and put it into practice it's such a beautiful thing and it's so liberating.

Detachment is moderation and  very different from withdrawal or cut off which are extreme steps and often misunderstood for detachment. 

A detached person is not a person who does not love or perform his or her duties or utilizes thier full capacity to work. But a detached person is a moderate person who loves without possessiveness, performs duties without expectations and gives their best in whatever they do.Detachment is a manifestation of moderation and hence its saintliness. 

Heartfulness emphasizes the balanced or the perfect integration of spiritual and material aspects of life, just like how a bird flies with two wings.The right understanding and application of detachment is very essential for integrating the spiritual and material life.

There are different aspects of detachment.

1. Detachment from material things,  be it a favourite toy, favorite dress, vehicle, house or any physical object which we hold too dear. Undue attachment to these things will not allow us to share these with anyone.

2. Detachment from abstract things like money, power, position,success,name and fame. Attachment to these things is a eternal addiction. 

3. Emotional detachment : Detachment from the people we love. The ability to enjoy the flow of affection without possessiveness. The ability to discharge duties to our family without expectations. Emotional detachment solves half of the problems in a relationship.

4. Detachment from associating our identity to a group such as religion,community, language,organization etc and liberating ourselves to enjoy the bigger picture.

5.Detachment from the work we do. Do the work to the fullest capacity without becoming addicted to it.

6. Detachment from gratitude.  At times unknowingly we get over attached to someone we are grateful Gratitude is a beautiful thing but we should not burden the other person with our gratitude. 

"Assume no weight of gratitude lest you lay a yoke upon yourself and upon him who gives" - Khalil Gibran 

7. The highest form of detachment is detachment from own self. Understanding that we are not the thought but the observer of our own thoughts. 

"When you listen to a thought, you are aware not only of the thought but also of yourself as the witness of the thought. A new dimension of consciousness has come in ."- Echart Tolle 

Self Acceptance

" Make your own acceptance of yourself set you free ". 

I always understood acceptance as something external,  acceptance of events, situations and people we come across. Acceptance to avoid conflict and acceptance to make peace. But the completeness of the lesson actually lies  in both   'Self Acceptance ' and acceptance of others.

We may think that by default we all follow self Acceptance, but when we dwell deeper its a broad spectrum manifesting in different areas.

The beginning of self Acceptance is self awareness. First of all do we have an awareness of our strengths and weaknesses. Once we are aware of some aspect of ourselves,  are we in acceptance of what comes to the awareness of our conscious mind. Are we constantly willing to improve ourselves wherever we figure a short coming . Are we constantly willing to utilize our strengths for our own betterment? A major step is crossed if we are able to accept and act on our own strengths and weaknesses.

The second step in Self Acceptance is in appreciating and celebrating our uniqueness without comparing ourselves with anyone. Never allow yourself to feel small or inadequate in comparison with anyone or anything. Always remember you are complete the way you are.

The third step in practicing Self Acceptance is the ability to take other people's criticisms, jealousy and arrogance in  a light way without getting affected. Other people's opinion about us is thier idea aboutb us based on their limited understanding,  its not the ultimate Reality.

The fourth step in practicing Self Acceptance is in appreciating timeliness.  Each of us have different experiences in this journey and different timeliness.  Do we have the patience to wait for our time ? Or do we get into self doubts and blame ourselves for things which are not in our control ? 

Acceptance is complete only when we accept ourselves as well as others, be it inside out or outside in, ultimately the balance will be established only by practicing both self acceptance and acceptance of others. We need to celebrate the God within us as well as the God within our fellow creatures.Acceptance is the first step towards that.

Space and affection

 This concept of 'space' is the most beautiful thing which I learnt in this journey of life. Every relationship will be beautiful when we apply space in love. When a relationship is genuine space binds the two people, when the relationship is not genuine space separates.

How can space bind ?

Be it marriage or friendship at times we just love or care someone a lot without realizing that we are entering into their boundary. But when we take few days or weeks or months to reflect and observe how a relationship is going, how we treat someone, how the other person is treating us and adjust and fine tune ourselves then we learn to love and yet maintain the space without entering into the other person's boundary.This space in love and friendship will be emotionally liberating for both the people.That is matured love, detached love or love without expectations.

Space in love can prevent hurt feelings, disappointment and heart breaks.So when we are affectionate towards someone we should also give them the space, we should never let affection become a burden on others. 

There are different types of affection.

1. Immature burdening affection is one in which the other person demands certain things like attention, priority, time or even affection in return without practicing space or realizing that affection has to be natural, spontaneous, effortless not forced.We can enjoy this affection only if we can effortlessly handle the burden or meet the demands else it becomes stressful. 

2. Short term company and affection. Some relationships are good only untill the point of time we are in the same place, then it's like out of sight out of mind.People just move on without making an attempt to keep in touch. 

3.The affection between people sharing common interest or ideas is where minds are connected and these relationships enjoyable on short term basis.

4. Elevating  or purposeful relationships. Some people may be with us for very short period of time but they act as pointers and guide us in the right direction.Even if we get out of touch  with passage of time we may remember them with respect. 

5. Some pure souls come into our life and help us unconditionally we may always remember them with gratitude.

6. Some people are good and kind because that is their nature not because they like us. We should know the difference between someone who is good to us and someone who is affectionate towards us and stay emotionally stable.

7. The best friend kind of affection flows naturally, spontaneously, unconditionally, mutually where two persons are connected in all levels where they act as company, have common interest, act as  a  pointer to each other elevating them in the right direction, help unconditionally and make an attempt to keep in touch forever.

8. In family relationship we are bound with love, affection, duties and responsibilities and give our entire lifetime for the souls who are part of our family.Babuji says family is the training ground for love and sacrifice.Liberation  lies in handling it.

9. Above everything what is our relationship with ourselves, which is actually the most important relationship and the purpose of our incarnation. The first thing is Self awareness, then we should have self Acceptance about that which has come to our awareness. Then we should practice Self help through Self motivation to change or improve required aspects of our life. Having consistency in helping ourself is self care or self discipline.We will do all this only when we have self respect.

Awareness to Application

Our evolution is a journey from non awareness to awareness and from awareness to application of the awareness in the mundane situations of day to day existence.

Our consciousness is a reflection of our inner condition, awareness is the disposition of consciousness and application is the manifestation of awareness.What we manifest becomes our personality. 

Here we move from the bigger picture to the finer details and the entire process becomes so beautiful. 

The only alternative is application by means of obedience to the right person or scripture wherein we focus on the finer details without bothering about the bigger picture.

Practice,perseverance  and the will is all that is required.

Some of my key take aways on this journey so far :

Acceptance 

Non judgement 

Living in the Now

Holding on to responsibilities

Letting go of hurt

Practicing equality 

Love,space,boundary 

Gratitude

Service

Surrender

Love and detachment

Half of the time we suffer from inability to love and other  half of the time we suffer from the inability to detach from those who we love.

We experience three types emotions such as attraction, neutral or resistance towards fellow beings due to multivarious reasons. At times due to our own prejudice,ideas and judgement and other times due to the way they behave in general or the way they treat us.

What is love ? At the surface level love is a emotion. At a deeper level to love means to give our energy.Time is the most valuable energy we can give the other person. Taking time to serve the society is one way to practice Universal love and brotherhood.Service is one way by which we move from individual love towards universal love.

What is detachment? In the surface level detachment is space.It sometimes seems to be a scary word or something applicable only for saints.But if we understand its a simple concept.

( simple not necessarily easy. )

Detachment is Non expectation of anything material or emotional even after giving that from our side. Whatever we give or do is because we like to do that.  Do our part and stay back don't be demotivated with the reciprocation from the other side.Indirectly we are surrendering the result of our action.

Service is the manifestation of love. Surrender is the manifestation of detachment .Amalgamation and application of service and surrender,  love and detachment is a very high level of human evolution.

Its a two way flow, we can serve out of love or we can serve and create love.

We can surrender as a manifestation of detachment or surrender can create the condition of detachment.

Love is not fancy words or thoughts,service is love.

Service is good thoughts, good words,good action.

Detachment is not closing our heart and being rigid, it's doing the best with everything and everyone and surrendering the consequences. 

Babuju says "Make love and acceptance the two fulcrums of your life".

Daaji says there are three stages of Acceptance, "Acceptance, Cheerful acceptance, acceptance even without the idea of acceptance ".

This last stage of Acceptance, I.e. acceptance without the idea of acceptance is surrender, which is nothing but non expectation of detachment.

" When the light returns to the source it takes nothing of what it has illuminated" - Rumi

"They are the chosen ones who have surrendered.Once they were particles of light, now they are radiant sun" - Rumi

"Service is constantly thinking good for others".-Babuji 

" I slept and saw that life is all joy,

I woke and saw that life is all service, 

I served and saw that service is all joy"- khalil Gibran 

What you seek is seeking you

 "What you seek is seeking you" - Rumi.

Have you observed the process of life in which the things which happen to us are the things we have been seeking knowingly or unknowingly. 

Sometimes we have repetitive thinking of something due to desire and sometimes we have repetitive thinking due to fear.In either way by repetitive thinking we are only attracting that which we are thinking about.That is why there is so much emphasis on positive thinking.

At times a closer observation of life shows that life is not always a series of interdependent events, at times the events are independent. Let's take a mundane example,  it's not always that hard work leads to money,  money gives a comfortable lifestyle and a comfortable lifestyle leads to satisfaction. 

I have seen cases where people lead a comfortable life without hardwork or money, that is when I understood that they have been seeking that knowingly or unknowingly.whether they are satisfied with what they have or still feel dissatisfied is a different question.

Same way some people keep on working hard without enjoying a lifestyle shift, without their knowledge they have been seeking hard work.They may still be happy about it ,that's a different question.

But what these things show is that, it's our seeking which is leading us. But now comes the question of why we seek or fear different things? That's because each of us is driven by different bag of karma or samskara which acts as a seed behind the tree of our thoughts and intentions.

When human life is a combination of destiny and free will,  how can we use our free will to seek? At times in life we want something, nature gives us what we want but after that there are times when we do not know to handle that which we have got. 

So do we know to use our free will to seek the right thing ?

Mahatma Gandhi says " Seek truth to find God".

"We seek outside the wonders we carry within"-Rumi

Seek Within!

Moderation-Reflections

 "Out beyond the ideas of right doing and wrong doing, there is a place I will meet you there"- Rumi

While religious journey is more about vice and virtue, a spiritual journey is more about negation and holy nothingness. A state of Reality is a state in which moderation is practiced in every aspect.

"Moderation is a saintly character" says Lalaji. White and black gives grey, Babuji says grey is the color of reality .Chariji says God is not either this or that, He is both this and that.

Just as a bird flies with both the wings, just as humans walk with both the legs,  moderation is all about integrating the spiritual and material aspects of life.Moderation is all about integrating the heart and the mind.When this integration is achieved we move from duality to a state of unity which is the beginning of reality.

Moderation between silence and words,

Moderation between holding on and letting go,

Moderation in knowing and applying, 

Moderation in being and doing,

Moderation in activity and passivity 

When we start applying moderation in the small things of day to day life, the big things will automatically be taken care by itself. 

Moderation in eating,  moderation in doing, moderation in speaking, moderation in expressing and above all moderation in thinking.

Moderation is raising above dualities, moderation is a liberative state and a reality condition which we need to practice and achieve permanency in it.

Affection - Reflections

 While feelings of affection keeps us happy I have been wondering why we form strong emotional bonds with some people when we come across so many people in our life. Why some people are so special to us and even after many years we have a special feeling of warmth and love when we think about them.

There are many reasons for us to develop a strong emotional bond with another person. Someone might have done something good to us,some help,support, should have expressed care and concern ,manifested kindness all this because of their nature but we might be touched by that and start liking them for being good to us.This is liking the person for what they are to us.

We start liking certain people because we share some common interest with them , we find joy in discussing about common interests with those people. 

There are few people whom we like because of their good nature or there is something in them be it their character or skill or looks  or knowledge which we admire ,feel inspired or impressed about them. This is liking a person for what they are in general.

There are still others whom we like because they like us and their affection touches our heart.

At times we might be a little quick to like someone without fully understanding them then end up feeling hurt when we feel they did not live upto our affection or at times just because we like someone we develop unknowing expectations and feel hurt when our expectations are not met.

Some people react to hurt feelings through a defensive mechanism of detachment, they are careful in not letting another person into their emotional realm beyond a certain boundary so that they don't get into hurt feelings in the course of the journey but some people forget the hurt feelings which they have faced in the past and enjoy the flow of affection.

I personally don't support total detachment because just because someone let us down or hurt us does not mean every other person we meet will be the same. We should not always close our heart to love and affection, there are many good souls in this world. Why should we deny ourselves the joy of love for the fear of hurt? 

We should be sensitive ,grateful and reciprocate to those who are affectionate towards us. With regards to those we like, lowering the expectation and enjoying the flow of affection with a little space is a wonderful thing.

Balance - Reflections

Balance looks like a state of equality or oneness.There are different things we try to balance in life. But the ultimate balance seems to be a balance between the inner and the outer, the self and the universe. When this balance is achieved we have attained a state of oneness.

Imagine there are two small cement water storage adjacent to each other sharing a common wall on one side. Difference exists as long as the common segregator exists between the two storage or as long as water levels remain within the storage units.The water in both the tanks become one when the segregator breaks or if the water rises above the wall.

Same way when the wall of 'i' ness breaks we attain a state of oneness with our surrounding or if we rise above the 'i' ness we attain a state of oneness with our surrounding.The wall of ego has to break or the heart has to rise above the wall of ego to attain this state. 

There is no prejudice or judgement  with reagrds to whom or what to mingle.you have raised above the walls of your ego and just mingle or become one with whatever/whoever is present without a sense of awareness. Your universe expands and expands and expands indefinitely from a small I,me and mine.In this form of expansion we move closer towards the absolute balance.

Stillness

Words seems heavy, talking, thinking, reading, writing, reasoning,learning, understanding, contemplating all seems heavy..and heart wants to dwell in stillness...

Stillness in solitude 

Stillness in love

Stillness in friendship 

Stillness at work

Stillness at rest

Stillness in every action 

Stillness in the NOW 

The holy Stillness closest to the holy nothingness 

Birthday Wish List

Birthday wish list

1. Raise above  thoughts, emotions, people and events.

2. Living in the NOW and enjoying the stillness in every moment. 

3. Discharge duties perfectly without the awareness of doing.

4. Be completely in love yet totally detached.

5.Live every moment in His remembrance, in gratitude,surrender and service.

Towards Reality

In acceptance,  peace

In love, space

In gratitude, detachment 

In service, deservingness

In Now, Action

In charity, anonymity

In kindness, equality

In moderation, reality

In duty, surrender

In surrender, mergence

In mergence, joy

In joy, grace 

In grace, bliss

In bliss, being

In being ,doing

In doing, being

In passivity, activity

In activity, passivity

In above amamalgamation, negation

In negation , God - The Ultimate Reality 

Top ten lessons in the last decade

Its been ten years since I came to U.A.E. . But where do we really live? In Chennai? In U.A.E? In a villa ? In a studio? In a 2 bhk ? Wherever we may be physically, we actually live in our thoughts and have all the freedom here. The Freedom of thoughts. It's important to keep our thoughts beautiful, clean and pure.Some important takes from life's journey in the last decade.

1.Acceptance of what is.

2. Non judgement and overcoming the fear of others judgement.

3. Living in the NOW. Now is all that exists, this includes letting go of what was or what will be and the ability to adapt to changes.

4. Gratitude for what is without taking anything or anyone for granted.

5. Do the duty continuously,selflessly,sincerely. 

6. If the results of action is not to your liking  do not slip into inaction.Practice patience, hope for the best and motivate yourself to carry on your way.

7.Do not take words very seriously both good and bad. The voice from within should validate what comes from outside.

8. Enjoy the flow of love and affection while giving people the space they need.In love, space.

9. Practice Equality,brotherhood towards all fellow beings without any differences or priorities.Admire and appreciate the good things in others.

10. Faith, prayer and surrender can change anything.Do your best and leave the rest to God.

Be open to learn,unlearn,relearn and more importantly APPLY the learnings in life.

Contentment and growth

While contentment is a blessed state of mind I was wondering what lies behind it or is it complete by itself.

How do we arrive at contentment?

Contentment usually comes when a certain goal is fulfilled, it can be by self effort or life can just give us what we want through some other person  without our personal effort.

How can contentment be disturbed?

When we have a conditional contentment,  contentment can be disturbed when underlying conditions shake.

At times we may be content with what is but an awareness of something better can create a desire for that better and disturb the content state of mind. Unnecessary comparison with others may lead to discontent.

When we are grateful for what we have then we would never be disturbed when another person has something better than us.

When we no longer choose to race or follow the crowd, when we arrive at a state of inner contentment with what is, are we in some kind of a stagnation or not focusing on the potential growth?

There is a possibility of stagnation unless we learn to live life using our full potential using our will power.

Contentment and growth can go together when we gratefully accept the present as it is and use our full potential to be a better version of our own self breaking our own records.Ideally when we apply gratitude we can be content at the same time use the will to become better.

Life is not what we have, it's more about what we are or what we become.

Deeper lessons on Acceptance

 Over the last decade I have been trying to learn the lessons of Acceptance, write about it and apply it in my life. It was more about acceptance of unexpected or dynamic situations in life, acceptance of people with different personalities and mindset. In tolerance we avoid conflict and make peace  with the situation, in acceptance we make peace both within and outside us.

Acceptance paves ways to peace but acceptance does not mean becoming a passive observer to everything and becoming stagnant. Acceptance is complete only in action.  We accept the what is and act for the betterment.Mere acceptance without action sooner or later leads to stagnation. Suddenly a sense of awareness comes into our mind about stagnation creating ripples of restlessness in the peaceful  mind. Well every thought which comes to us from within is for us to act on it. Dont let this restlessness pave wave to self pity. Instead understand that nature puts us through restlessness to move towards further betterment, practice self Acceptance, be gentle on your self. You have already come a long way upto here. Tell yourself ,  "I am good enough, but I need to take action to become all the more better".

Whenever your own flaws or limitations comes to the awareness of your mind, practice Self Acceptance and Self help through Self efforts in an attitude of Surrender. Attitude makes a big difference in this journey.These are the baby steps towards Self Mastery.

Driving ( Vehicle,life)

There is so much of similarity between driving a vehicle and driving our life.

In both we learn through experience. 

In both living in the NOW is crucial.

In both being open to dynamic situations is very important .

We need to keep the momentum( acceleration) going else the journey will come to a pause, there should be some consistency in our efforts to achieve sustainability. We should also be able to observe and apply when high acceleration is required when we just need to maintain the speed, when we need to slow down, when we need to stop and when we need to restart.

How you treat your fellow traveller ? 

Do we give them a fair chance, be considerate or just ignore the needs of others. Practice politeness, empathy and mutual respect.

Accidents can happen even if you are not at fault. Practice Acceptance.

Same way our carelessness can affect an innocent person and can also cause a chain reaction in many people's life. Be cautious not to affect another person in a negative way through thoughts, words ,actions or inaction.

There is no race  in this journey, each of us never started in the same place nor are we moving towards the same destination .Moreover each of us are traveling in different conditions and have different assets.

When you are stuck due to a breakdown , God comes in th form of a total stranger to help you. Practice Gratitude for the help received. Gratitude is complete only when we take inspiration from the help received and start helping others without expectations. 

More than anything, always be aware that you are the driver of your life. Take ownership. What happens in our journey can be destiny but our attitude towards what we go through is our free will.Our life is a combination of destiny and free will. Practice a positive attitude and make wise choices.

Be responsible towards yourself and your fellow travelers.

Journey of life(Essence without explanation)

 

Meditation with open eyes- part 1

This journey of life seems to be a meditation with open eyes. Every soul we meet in our day to day life has something to teach us just by their way of living. It is said that we meet the other person only at the depths in which we have already met ourselves. We generally have this 'oversight' and do not easily take lessons from the people we interact with.

Meditating with closed eyes and seeking answers from within is spirituality,  living in a state of meditation with open eyes and taking lessons from everyone we come across is Reality.

Babuji says "Make love and ac9ceptance the two fulcrums of your life ".

While I am still trying to read, write and learn acceptance and first of all practice non resistance,  only after few years of marriage I understood how my husband applies the principles of Acceptance in his life. 

Most of his situations were not so easy and straight. But he accepts the what is ,makes peace with it and acts or works on what he wants to be. When dealing with other members of family he accepts people with their short comings that can't be changed but pushes them to correct their mistakes on areas  which can be changed. Babuji says " Acceptance is a wise counselor " . Knowingly or unknowingly my husband lives life wisely applying the principles of Acceptance. 

Now coming on to another important person in my life,  my father. After how many years I have understood him from a higher perspective.  While I am still learning the basic lessons of love, my father applies the principles of Universal Love in his life. He always treats people EQUALLY,  irrespective of their social status, caste,creed,language or gender.

His way of life tells me that love is not a fancy or abstract thing but love manifests in the small finer details of day to day life. Spending time for someone is greater than spending money on someone. Love is manifested in small gestures, say for example you buy or prepare a small dish and you take the effort to go all the way to give it to someone who likes it. You do this not only with your close family but for a bigger circle then that speaks volumes. Spending money for someone is a good thing, spending time for someone is a better thing, wishing the other person well with all your heart  is the best thing. Someone who can do all the three is really serving God while serving the fellow men. Babuji says " Service is constantly thinking good for others ".  Knowingly or unknowingly my father lives a life of service.

Look around you, there are people who teach without words, they teach by their way of life. We can meet them only at the depths in which we have already met ourselves. Introspect .

Part 2- Finite understanding of infinite love

 Way back in 2009, I had written about my finite understanding of the infinite love. 

https://towardsultimate.blogspot.com/2009/12/my-finite-understanding-of-infinite.html

Coming up with the part 2 now. 

Love is both the journey and destination.

Love is both the beginning and the end.

Love is the amalgamation of being and doing.

Love is the will that binds thoughts and actions.

In solitude, peace. But peace is boring without love.

Love emerges from within the heart but you need a company for love to manifest itself to the mind.

What is human life without giving and receiving love? Rumi says " Our task is not merely to seek love, but to remove all the barriers we have built against it".

The greatest barrier to a loving heart is the lack of reciprocation.

How to handle the souls who are not sensitive to the love we pour on them ?

Never let the lack of reciprocation of insensitive soul to stop your flow of love.

A flower does not stop blooming or radiating its fragrance just because someone is not admiring it.

So too learn to love without condition you never know when  sensitive souls will come across your path.

A gardner who sows hundred seeds knows that not all the hundred seeds would turn into mighty tree,but his job is to sow the seeds. So too our job is to let love flow through us. We don't need to worry about who will drink of it or how much. Love will always find its destiny.

We have no control on who is sensitive to our love, or even if they are will they reciprocate, even if they reciprocate how long they will be with us in this journey.We have no control on who was , who is and who will be with us. The right ones will come into our lives sooner or later. 

A gardner who wants a tree is not judgemental about the seeds. His job is to sow and nurture all the seeds in the same way. A gardner who wants three trees does not sow just three seeds. So too if we want to enjoy the flow of love eternally we need to practice Universal love with equality and without judgement.

First step towards universal love is sacrifice and the next step is Service.

Babuji says" Sacrifice means not hurting others. Service means constantly thinking good for others".

To end it in Rumi's way :- "Wherever you are, Whatever you do be in love"

" Love is the link between you and everything".

Enjoy and handle your unique journey

Someone spends their time and energy in chasing their dreams and goals,

Someone spends their  time and energy in handling their weakness,

Someone spends their time and energy in healing from a  internal wound,

Someone spends their time and energy in healing from physical illness, 

Someone spends their time and energy in following their passions,

Someone spends their time and energy in handling their struggles,

Someone spends their time and energy in having fun,

Someone spends their time and energy in shouldering responsibilities,

Someone spends their time and energy in serving others.

Each person has different weaknesses, different strengths,

Each person has different internal wounds,different external wounds,

Each person has different struggles, different blessings ,

Each person has different opportunities, different source of support, 

Each person has different dreams and different satisfaction levels,

Each person has different perception of success and happiness. 

United in Universal energy of love yet each of our journey is very unique.

We just need to HANDLE what comes our way.

We need to handle what we are given,

We need to handle what we are not given,

We need to handle what we have,

We need to handle what we are.

We think it's tough to handle what is deprived in our life, 

It's actually equally tough to handle what is given.

Nature tests us both by giving and by depriving 

We need to handle both.

Enjoy, Accept and be grateful about "What is".

Act from 'What is' and keep faith on " What will be".

It's foolish to compare, it's foolish to question the "What is " of our journey, it's wise to accept with gratitude. 

Inner world and Outer world

 This is my blog two years back on the synchronization between the inner and outer.

https://towardsultimate.blogspot.com/2020/08/synchronization-between-inner-and-outer.html

The easiest way to synchronize the inner and outer is love. 

When we tolerate or adjust with someone we are trying to be good to them but we are surely not happy within. At the same time we can't be hard and hurt the other person.There is no synchronization between the inner feeling and outer behavior. Tolerance and adjustment in fact seems to be on the arrogant side. In fact we won't even have peace of mind if we can't be the same inside out.

Slowly when we bring the element called acceptance we can stay peaceful.Peace is good but it is just a beginning. There is a small degree of selfishness here on a subtle level.

How then do we really bring about the synchronization between the inner and out in a real and complete sense ? The only way is love. When we learn to love there is no need of tolerance, adjustment, acceptance absolutely anything. 

We humans are all born with the ability to love but many a times we don't use it in our day to day life situations. Love exists in so many subtle ways, be sensitive and grateful to the love you receive. When love flows from your heart just let it flow. Don't have resistance or restrictions about from where it comes and where it goes. Just keep love flowing through you heart, then you will always be in synchronization with the inner feelings and outer behaviour. 

The synchronization between inner and outer world also involves balance between self and other. Acceptance, gratitude and love is not just for the other but also for the self.

Self Acceptance to be in peace with one's own self

Gratitude (Counting our blessings), creates a joyful state within 

When there is inner peace and inner joy , love automatically follows.

Freedom is Responsibility

 Happy woman's day. 

What does a woman want? - Freedom to live life in her own way.

Rabindranth Tagore says " Freedom is Responsibility " .

You are responsible for what you feel, for what you are and what you want to be. You are responsible for the choices you make and alligning the priorities of your life.

When you are not feeling ok about something, introspect , find out what is it within you that you can change about any situation to make you feel better . Nobody else should be responsible for how you feel . All barriers to overcome are within . You are responsible for self healing ,self growth and self mastery .

Take the responsibility of your life and yourself in your hands . Keep working on every aspect of your life .keep Evolving .Follow your heart .

Self Mastery

Self Acceptance 

Self Love

Self Confidence 

Self introspection 

Self help

Self improvement 

Self motivation 

Self Respect

Self Mastery. 

Always remember , "The barriers to cross is always inside not outside" .

Follow your heart.

Spiritual insights for woman

 Dear woman, 

 Have the courage to follow your heart.

Let your actions and behavior reflect your heart.

 When you do so have the courage to overcome other people's judgement about your action. 

You don't owe an explanation or proof to anyone. 

Just be you and be happy to be you.

Love and peace is already inherent in you, when you master courage you are taking a giant leap in your evolution.

❤

 He accepted,

She adapted,

Peace.

Peace is there, Where is love in this ?

Admire!

Acceptance is the foundation of peace.

Admiration is the foundation of love.

When we  learn to admire everything and everyone we are participating in the flow of Universal Love.

Be love, become love.

My favorite  quotes on love:

1. " Close your eyes, fall in love, stay there ." - Rumi

My understanding: 

close ur eyes -  Love is a inner thing to be experienced, don't seek it outside.Love is a spiritual condition. 

Stay there - when nature bestows you the condition of love, don't let go of it. Try to attain a permanency in that condition. 

2. "Wherever you are, Whatever you do be in love" - Rumi

My understanding: Every single act we do in our day to day life when we apply love, we do it best and we don't form impressions. 

3. " Love is the bridge between you and everything"- Rumi

My understanding: Towards any person or anything when you approach with vibrations of love you are doing your part.

4. " Love Him who loves All"- Babuji

5. " Love all whom He loves" - Chariji 

6." Love for God is a state where the trinity of lover, beloved and love itself is lost" - Lalaji

7. " Joy of love is love itself" - My first lesson of love taught by Chariji. 

My experiences with beloved Lalaji (Adi guru of Sahaj Marg)

As we are celebrating the 149 th birth anniversary of Pujya Lalaji Maharaj, for quiet a few times my memories went back to my experiences with beloved Lalaji Maharaj.

I am not blessed enough to meet the great master in the physical realm, my experiences with beloved Lalaji are through visions, dreams, feelings and intutions.

My first conscious experience with Lalaji Maharaj was way back in 2009 July. I feel the living master at that time (beloved Chariji) out of His mercy connected me with the adi guru of Sahaj Marg system. I strongly feel Lalaji and Babuji are the father and mother,  the Shiva and Shakthi of the Sahaj Marg system. The living master connects all Sahaj Marg abhyasis with the Adi Guru Pujya Lalaji Maharaj irrespective of whether we feel it or not.

In July 2009, I was taking a sitting from one of a senior trainer in Chennai. Suddenly I had a dramatic experience where I saw my heart went out of my body and floating in air, in the same room where the meditation was going on. At first I was afraid to see why my heart went out of the body. Then I noticed pujya Lalaji's image in the trainers place. He was seated with open eyes and His eyes were fixed to my heart which was floating. Then I was convinced that I  am  safe as long as Master's eyes is fixed on my heart. Then I could comfortably continue the meditation without worrying about my heart which was floating out of my body. Then towards the very end of the meditation session,  I saw Lalaji's heart come out of His body, it came close to my heart and the two hearts were together close to each other. When I heard " That's all", both the hearts went back, one heart entered back inside my body and one heart entered into Lalaji's body.

I was feeling deep after the profound sitting and on the way back home I was just trying to understand one thing, which heart did I get? Was it Lalaji's heart or my heart. I did not witness that part of the meditation.When I came back home, I got my answer when I looked at the magnets that are stuck in the steel cupboard. How does it matter which heart I got during meditation, when a iron is kept with a magnet, the iron becomes magnetised was the feeling which came from within. So too Lalajis pure heart would have removed the impurities of my heart when they came close together. I felt so thankful to my masters.

The spiritual journey went on smoothly and then I experienced a period of buffer or dryness. Then suddenly in December 2013 beloved Lalaji was there to guide me further on my journey. Am not elaborating all the spiritual work in a public forum but one thing that can be shared is in 2015 my husband and me were in the nearby cities due to job constraints then everyday I saw Lalaji standing by my bedside and taking care of us( me and my elder son) in every dimension. He is both the Guru and a father to me and I consider those days as golden days in my spiritual journey.

In May 2016, during a satsang Lalaji taught me the most important lesson in spirituality i.e ATTITUDE. It was a Friday satsang, one of the most unforgettable meditation in my journey. I don't want to mention everything about it here but just a small bit. There were some wonderful experiences but suddenly after that I found myself in vast desert sands of Reality, It was on and on almost seemed endless and I got very annoyed to see the vast desert after the good experiences. Lalaji was there along with me in the desert.

In ignorance I told Him, am tired, am not going to walk further 'carry me'. But the next moment I realized my folly and felt oh no it should be so difficult for guruji to walk in the hot sand and thinking so I opened both my palms, knelt down and put the open palms on the sand and told master please come and stand here, you may be feeling hot. Immediately the entire situation changed. The infinite sands of reality ended I found water of bliss. This was an attitude test and one of the greatest lesson which Lalaji indirectly taught me. When we bring in the attitude of surrender and submission bliss can exist instantly even in a desert which may seem endless.

Infinite journey becomes instant in an attitude of Surrender!

On this gracious day I thank our beloved Lalaji and pray that we develop the purity, character and attitude which He ways wants us to develop.

Om Shanthi shanthi shanthi.

People in our life

 Just like the four seasons, people are in and out of our life.All this is cyclic, repetitive and beautiful in its own way so enjoy the phase which life bestows and make the most of it.

At times there are many people in our life,celebrate learn caring and sharing.Dont get into narrow concept of groupism,try to treat everyonefairlyand equally. Do not ignore someone.Be considerate,very soon you may be in that place.Outgrow the small idea of groups. Understand it's only 'I'(Individual mind) and 'All'(Collective heart).

At times we are alone, enjoy solitude, self love,God's love; take time to reflect and learn.Dont get depressed, there is a difference between being lonely and being alone .Always stay strong. 

At times best friends become strangers, it's heart breaking but let go graciously,  always respect the space the other person  wants and believe life will fill it up with someone all the more better.

At times strangers become friends,dong be rigid be welcoming,there is always goodness around and just because you are hurt once don't totally shut yourself to love.

Don't crave for someone, don't think of getting rid of someone, accept life as it is and make peace with everything and everyone.

Rumi puts it all beautifully "Give people you love,the wings to fly, roots to come back and reasons to stay".