Magic of moderation

Moderation seems to be so magical and liberating. 

Chariji says " God is neither this nor that but at the same time both this and that ". 

Babuji says " Grey is the colour of reality ".A mix of black and white gives grey.

Lalaji says " Moderation is a saintly attribute and the most important quality of a spiritual aspirant".

Khalil Gibran on his book The Prophet -: " some of you say that joy is greater than sorrow, some of you say that sorrow is greater than joy but I say they are inseparable.  Together they come, and when one sits alone with you at your board, remember the other is asleep upon your bed" .

So two avoid extreme oscillation we need to keep our oscillation minimal.

God is zero, God is negation so to realize God the means is moderation.

In our journey we move from multiplicity to trinity then to duality and then to unity in our perception of things.

Moderation is not sometimes this and sometimes that, but moderation is at the same time both this and that.

Sahaj Marg says just like a bird with two wings find a balance between both the spiritual and material aspects of life. Daaji uses a more refined term  " integrate" instead of "balance".

If God is negation, God is love and moderation is the way to God then love is moderation! Love is not opposite of hatred. Love is our natural condition.Love is effortless effort, love is forceless force, love is powerless power. Love is beyond the dualities of senses  which mind can understand, love is unity, it begins when dualities ends. 

Moderation in day to day life:

1. Moderation between the freedom given to a child and parenting push.

2. Moderation between the blind trust and mutually agreed rules in a couple.

3. Moderation in the time we spend for family and work.

4. Moderation in spending and earning.

5. Moderation in forgiving others and setting clear expectations.

6. Moderation in senses, moderate enjoyment, moderate eating, moderate talking.

7. Moderation in friendship binding affection, self respect and proper boundaries.

8. Moderation between self love and universal love.

Moderation in our personality type: 

Meyer briggs classifies all the world's personality into 16 broad categories which arise from permutation and combination of four basic types. 

For more information check  :

https://www.16personalities.com/free-personality-test

Though all of us have all the combination of personalities within us yet the percentage of it varies. If we are 90 % introvert and 10 % extrovert or if we are 51 % introvert and 49 % extrovert makes a big difference.

1. Moderation between thinking and feeling.To take inputs from our environment we need to use both our thinking and feeling aspects of our personality.

2. Moderation between our sensing faculty and intuitive nature.( Sensing is the aspect of us which relies more on data and facts to gather information and intuitive nature  is relying on gut feeling which comes from within)

3. Moderation between our introverted and extroverted nature.

4. Moderation between immediate decision making ability and prolonged decision making ability.

Assertiveness

 This 'assertiveness' concept, self expression, self care and self love is becoming very trendy in the modern days.

Do we have the right understanding of assertiveness. Assertiveness is many times misunderstood as expressing our thoughts and ideas without consideration for others. Assertiveness is not rigidity. Assertiveness is the ability to bend without breaking. Assertiveness is moderate flexibility. 

I recollect a episode from Mahabarath serial when Gandhari was getting married. She was not in whole hearted acceptance of getting married to a blind man, she could not resist it either. She forced herself to live a blind folded life when actually her husband was expecting to see the world through her eyes. Elders and their kula guru were not in favour of her decision to blindfold herself.   Kula guru mentioned,

" If a woman is very adamant its not good for the welfare of the family." She did not guide her children in the right direction and eventually there was a disaster. 

Be it in family life or in any human relationship one has to be flexible and be considerate of others and equally considerate of oneself.This is how we can bend without breaking. This is possible only through love. Submissive people should learn to practice self love, dominating people should learn to love fellow beings.

We should express ourself in a assertive way while balancing between love  for others and self love.

Detach and liberate

The word 'detachment' may seem very tough or big thing but actually once we understand and put it into practice it's such a beautiful thing and it's so liberating.

Detachment is moderation and  very different from withdrawal or cut off which are extreme steps and often misunderstood for detachment. 

A detached person is not a person who does not love or perform his or her duties or utilizes thier full capacity to work. But a detached person is a moderate person who loves without possessiveness, performs duties without expectations and gives their best in whatever they do.Detachment is a manifestation of moderation and hence its saintliness. 

Heartfulness emphasizes the balanced or the perfect integration of spiritual and material aspects of life, just like how a bird flies with two wings.The right understanding and application of detachment is very essential for integrating the spiritual and material life.

There are different aspects of detachment.

1. Detachment from material things,  be it a favourite toy, favorite dress, vehicle, house or any physical object which we hold too dear. Undue attachment to these things will not allow us to share these with anyone.

2. Detachment from abstract things like money, power, position,success,name and fame. Attachment to these things is a eternal addiction. 

3. Emotional detachment : Detachment from the people we love. The ability to enjoy the flow of affection without possessiveness. The ability to discharge duties to our family without expectations. Emotional detachment solves half of the problems in a relationship.

4. Detachment from associating our identity to a group such as religion,community, language,organization etc and liberating ourselves to enjoy the bigger picture.

5.Detachment from the work we do. Do the work to the fullest capacity without becoming addicted to it.

6. Detachment from gratitude.  At times unknowingly we get over attached to someone we are grateful Gratitude is a beautiful thing but we should not burden the other person with our gratitude. 

"Assume no weight of gratitude lest you lay a yoke upon yourself and upon him who gives" - Khalil Gibran 

7. The highest form of detachment is detachment from own self. Understanding that we are not the thought but the observer of our own thoughts. 

"When you listen to a thought, you are aware not only of the thought but also of yourself as the witness of the thought. A new dimension of consciousness has come in ."- Echart Tolle 

Self Acceptance

" Make your own acceptance of yourself set you free ". 

I always understood acceptance as something external,  acceptance of events, situations and people we come across. Acceptance to avoid conflict and acceptance to make peace. But the completeness of the lesson actually lies  in both   'Self Acceptance ' and acceptance of others.

We may think that by default we all follow self Acceptance, but when we dwell deeper its a broad spectrum manifesting in different areas.

The beginning of self Acceptance is self awareness. First of all do we have an awareness of our strengths and weaknesses. Once we are aware of some aspect of ourselves,  are we in acceptance of what comes to the awareness of our conscious mind. Are we constantly willing to improve ourselves wherever we figure a short coming . Are we constantly willing to utilize our strengths for our own betterment? A major step is crossed if we are able to accept and act on our own strengths and weaknesses.

The second step in Self Acceptance is in appreciating and celebrating our uniqueness without comparing ourselves with anyone. Never allow yourself to feel small or inadequate in comparison with anyone or anything. Always remember you are complete the way you are.

The third step in practicing Self Acceptance is the ability to take other people's criticisms, jealousy and arrogance in  a light way without getting affected. Other people's opinion about us is thier idea aboutb us based on their limited understanding,  its not the ultimate Reality.

The fourth step in practicing Self Acceptance is in appreciating timeliness.  Each of us have different experiences in this journey and different timeliness.  Do we have the patience to wait for our time ? Or do we get into self doubts and blame ourselves for things which are not in our control ? 

Acceptance is complete only when we accept ourselves as well as others, be it inside out or outside in, ultimately the balance will be established only by practicing both self acceptance and acceptance of others. We need to celebrate the God within us as well as the God within our fellow creatures.Acceptance is the first step towards that.