Friends Forever

 Which friend is forever?

When you have the company of good people, it's a nice thing.

Some people genuinely respect, love, and care for us.

Some people help and support us. 

Some people truly understand and trust us.

Associating with some people uplifts us.

Few people provide everything: respect, love, support, and understanding. 

However wonderful a friendship is,  we have different paths and may not journey together for long.

Is keeping in touch possible in the real sense? Not just the knowledge someone gets through social media updates. But someone who was part of our everyday life, how much is it possible to share our joys and sorrows, ideas and changes when we no longer meet, especially for years together? 

Even if we value someone within us, will they still feel the same connection with us? When we all keep evolving into different versions of ourselves, will two individuals who were once best friends still have the same compatibility if they meet again?

I sincerely value those few people who have attempted to be there in my life, even a small attempt to stay in touch. 

As we all go through so many things in life, at times, space or getting out of touch was not our choice. Maybe it just happened. We never paid attention to the gap when it started building, and then one fine day, we realized that we had grown miles apart.

It's not just essential to make good friends. Mutual, genuine efforts are required to keep it going. We may not always be able to find the same good people everytime and everywhere. 

Reflections on Marriage

Few Reflections on our wedding anniversary. It is said that "Marriages are made in heaven."

But is not heaven our creation?

The basics :

1. Acceptance - This is the foundation of a marriage.  It's the ability to accept the other person as they are and not have dramatic expectations. Peace begins in acceptance. 

2. Gratitude - It's the ability to count our blessings, appreciate the other person's goodness, and not keep complaining or fault-finding. Joy begins in Gratitude.

3. Now is all that exists. Living in the Now requires courage. Trust the Now. Freedom begins here and now as we learn to move on from the heaviness or burden of the past. Don't hold on to what was expected but not said or what was said but not expected.  What was done or what was not done.

4. Space: Individual growth begins in space. Never be excessively dependent on the other person. Invest time and energy in strengthening other relationships also. Have your hobbies, circle of good friends, and healthy connections with other family members. Emotionally mature people grow in space. Never be a parasite and drain the other person's energy.

The classic: 

5. Integrate: Mutual, exponential growth begins from here. " Adapt, not fully adopt." Do not fully force your ideas or thoughts on the other person. Also, do not completely adopt the other person's ideas.  Integrate the best qualities, practices, beliefs, experiences, capabilities, and principles of the individual and create something all the more beautiful. Unity is strength.

All these require a certain degree of mental maturity, understanding,  refinement of ego, selflessness, and, yes, most importantly positive outlook towards life and love.

Everything is easily said than done. No two individuals are always going to walk the journey at the same speed or the same intensity.  So it takes tremendous wisdom to keep changing the roles per the situation.  At times one leads; at times, one follows; at times, one carries like a mother; at times, one is carried like a child; at times, one protects like a father; at times, one is protected like a child; at times, one corrects like a teacher, at times one is corrected like a student, the two walk side by side like friends, the two merge like lovers, at times the two walks different routes and then integrate the enriched experiences.  

It takes will to transform from awareness to action. But a journey of thousand miles begins with a single step. 'Will' is always backed by desire/goal/interest.

All this is possible only when both individuals have the common goals of peace, joy, harmony, and evolution. 

Like every other journey ,marriageis not always easy. In difficult times apply the principles of the three P's. Patience perseverance , and prayer. Be patient to give things time to unfold. Persevere to keep putting in the best efforts from your side. Pray to create a new reality. Pray to evolve together. Always remember,  ' In surrender,  divine help.'

Everything requires effort. But love makes it look like effortless effort.

Reflections August

In the magic of moderation between all the dualities, who determines how much? It's the individual.  What appears normal to one appears as extreme to another. 

Follow the heart and listen to the voice within. Moderation is not universal; it comes from the individual heart. One rule does not suit all; it does not even suit the same person all the time. Wisdom is to listen to the guidance of the heart and take the right decisions. 

Freedom is the ability to follow the heart spontaneously.

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It takes a great degree of patience and maturity to let people understand from their own experience. Let things unfold in their natural way.

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Equality exists only when the mind has crossed dualities. Unity begins from here. Unconditional love starts from this point. Inclusiveness starts from here.

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Relationships: Two people can break each other.

Two people can let each other be as they are.

Two people can make each other.

Two people can adjust with each other forcefully.

Two people can complete each other joyfully.

Acceptance, gratitude, appreciation, and encouragement are the ways in which we can complete each other joyfully. 

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We should be careful what we see, read, and with whom we associate.   The videos or movies we see, the content we read, and the people we spend time with should leave us wiser and lighter, or at least as we are. Anything which makes our heart or mind feel heavy should be avoided immediately. 

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Moderation in liberating qualities: -

Contentment, calmness, compassion, courage all these should be moderate. This moderation comes only when the fifth 'C' clarity is rightly developed. We can use all the qualities for our improvement. 

Contentment is good, and desire is the root of all evil. It's excessive desire. Normal desire or goal motivates us and gives us direction. 

Calmness is wonderful.  Restlessness should be avoided, but certain degrees of restlessness are required to keep moving towards our goal.

Compassion is healing. Anger is deadly. But when anger is directed towards oneself for improvement removes the obstacles on the journey.

Courage is freedom. Fear is slavery. But certain degree of fear when rightly used should help us to prepare proactively and avoid getting into unnecessary things.

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Getting attached without knowing the reason is ignorance. 

Admiring and appreciating with awareness is wisdom.

Imbibing the qualities which you admire is saintly. 

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