Reflections on Marriage

Few Reflections on our wedding anniversary. It is said that "Marriages are made in heaven."

But is not heaven our creation?

The basics :

1. Acceptance - This is the foundation of a marriage.  It's the ability to accept the other person as they are and not have dramatic expectations. Peace begins in acceptance. 

2. Gratitude - It's the ability to count our blessings, appreciate the other person's goodness, and not keep complaining or fault-finding. Joy begins in Gratitude.

3. Now is all that exists. Living in the Now requires courage. Trust the Now. Freedom begins here and now as we learn to move on from the heaviness or burden of the past. Don't hold on to what was expected but not said or what was said but not expected.  What was done or what was not done.

4. Space: Individual growth begins in space. Never be excessively dependent on the other person. Invest time and energy in strengthening other relationships also. Have your hobbies, circle of good friends, and healthy connections with other family members. Emotionally mature people grow in space. Never be a parasite and drain the other person's energy.

The classic: 

5. Integrate: Mutual, exponential growth begins from here. " Adapt, not fully adopt." Do not fully force your ideas or thoughts on the other person. Also, do not completely adopt the other person's ideas.  Integrate the best qualities, practices, beliefs, experiences, capabilities, and principles of the individual and create something all the more beautiful. Unity is strength.

All these require a certain degree of mental maturity, understanding,  refinement of ego, selflessness, and, yes, most importantly positive outlook towards life and love.

Everything is easily said than done. No two individuals are always going to walk the journey at the same speed or the same intensity.  So it takes tremendous wisdom to keep changing the roles per the situation.  At times one leads; at times, one follows; at times, one carries like a mother; at times, one is carried like a child; at times, one protects like a father; at times, one is protected like a child; at times, one corrects like a teacher, at times one is corrected like a student, the two walk side by side like friends, the two merge like lovers, at times the two walks different routes and then integrate the enriched experiences.  

It takes will to transform from awareness to action. But a journey of thousand miles begins with a single step. 'Will' is always backed by desire/goal/interest.

All this is possible only when both individuals have the common goals of peace, joy, harmony, and evolution. 

Like every other journey ,marriageis not always easy. In difficult times apply the principles of the three P's. Patience perseverance , and prayer. Be patient to give things time to unfold. Persevere to keep putting in the best efforts from your side. Pray to create a new reality. Pray to evolve together. Always remember,  ' In surrender,  divine help.'

Everything requires effort. But love makes it look like effortless effort.