Ego refinement

" Innocence is an ego that does not get hurt" - J.K

Refining our ego and returning to our original purity is an interesting journey. I often feel we are all pure souls, trapped in a body and conditioned by the mind. Purity is our essence, but we have added layers and layers around the original purity we bought with us. How do we unwrap that?

The ego is manifested as offensive or defensive. Not only Shouting, making noise, and talking arrogantly alone are ego-based actions. At times avoiding, running away, feeling shy,  keeping quiet, etc, is ego.

What are the different things which hurt the ego? 

1. Things that hurt our self-respect:-

Not being informed  

Not being invited 

Not being included  

Not given priority  

Not given a chance/ opportunity  

Not being recognized/appreciated 

Not being valued 

Not being heard / understood

To be in a stagnating atmosphere without growth 

Being judged 

Being abused or falsely blamed 

Being very badly criticized 

Lack of reciprocation  of respect/ love/ time/ help

2. Selfishness -

When you realize that someone does not care but only uses and throws you according to their needs.

3. Jealousy

Jealous people who feel inadequate would knowingly or unknowingly hurt the other person just to feel better.

4. Awareness of one's own limitations 

Some limitations can be changed, and some others cannot be changed. Lack of awareness is a state of ignorance, but when awareness of our limitations flowers, we need to make peace with our limitations through action or acceptance. 

Be it a threat to self-respect or another person's selfishness or Jealousy, we have no control over what comes from outside. We cannot let our values go for a toss just because of what we receive from the external world.

The layers of ego get unwrapped with maturity. Maturity is the process of understanding the situation from all perspectives, accepting the as-is, and acting out of compassion and courage, not from ego and fear. Moderation and discriminative ability play a big role here.

Innocence is not ignorance or lack of awareness. The real refinement is understanding, which must be coupled with actions originating from compassion and courage.