Reflections June

Boundary Setting and handling tough people / situations or conflicting needs: 

Compassion and Empathy are great qualities only when there is moderation between self-compassion, and compassion towards others, and also moderation between self-empathy and empathy towards others.

We can do one of the below while handling tough people/ situations / conflicting needs:

1. Empathize with the other person and practice kindness.

2. Adjust in scenarios if it's easy and comes naturally to you. 

3. Express your needs only when you feel safe to express it.

4. Some people and situations require to be avoided. Explaining certain things to certain people will complicate the situation further.

Understand which situation requires what response and act accordingly. 

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Understand yourself deeper: 

When you do not do something, understand if you are afraid to do it or if you are not interested / or don't have a necessity to do it.

When you do something, understand if you are really interested in doing it or if you are doing it out of fear of judgement or other external factors.

When you practice moderation, look if there is moderation in both the craving and the action/indulgence.

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Understanding emotions:

It's difficult to receive affection that comes with other qualities which turns us off.

It's difficult to continuously give affection only for some admirable qualities without receiving affection in return.

It is rare for affection and admirable qualities to be integrated. Only in these scenarios we can give and receive affection.

What is a turn off?

Other person's Immaturity - It can be handled when we learn to empathize.

Other person's Jealousy - It can be handled when we learn to share.

Other person's Selfishness - It can be handled when we learn selflessness.

Feelings of being disrespected - It decreases when our ego refines.

When we learn to raise above the things that turns us off and develop the ability to give love spontaneously, we can experience the flow of unconditional love. 

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Ego refines when understanding grows.

Irritation subsides when empathy grows.

Restlessness subsides when moderation develops.

Anger subsides when forgiveness grows.

Fear subsides when trust develops.

Misunderstandings subsides when compassion grows. 

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Growth lies outside comfort zone. Follow your heart, it will guide you in the right direction. But how much should one extend the boundaries of their comfort zone?  Moderation is the answer and in aspects where we find extremism in our tendencies, behaviors we can make an attempt to change.

Moderately pushing our boundaries, a bit is enough. Do not stretch to the point of breaking.

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Release the past with gratitude, surrender the future to God, enjoy the stillness of the present moment.

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Excessive activity without passivity and excessive passivity without activity both are equally dangerous.

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Be it inner qualities or skills or outer behavior or the situation someone handles we generally admire in others  what we are ( the common things), we have resistance towards what we are not and we have inspiration towards what we would like to be.

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Joy of love is neither the beloved, nor the reciprocation,  joy of love is love itself. Same way the greatness of discipline is discipline itself, not the fruits of disciplined life. It's a blessing to be disciplined irrespective of what comes our way. Moderation is the highest discipline.  Discipline is a broad spectrum encompassing physical,mental,emotional,psychological social,spiritual dimensions. 

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